THE NOSTALGIA GENERATION [wattys 2018]

PAIN

pain is kind of an art-form. 

in fact i believe they say that the best art

is inspired by pain

 driven by fear, unrequited love,

not getting what you want, divorce,

your world falling apart,

a velvety sheen of sweet sugar-coated pain

and nothing like shattering your spine, 

or cancer, or dying, or struggling to retain a breath

before the sweet release of death kisses you softly on the lips-

regardless; it is pain-

all pseudo-teenage relatable horrors we've endured 

once in a lifetime and it's not real pain;

nothing like a losing a father in battle

or getting your head chopped off by terrorists

but again it is pain nonetheless,

a pain endured, a pain suffered and a pain overcome

with age and experience that supposedly makes you wiser

and teaches you to not make the same mistake

of having expectations ever again. 

the best pain that everybody likes 

and paint it on themselves like makeup,

is the sort of pain that is all in your head,

or a demon, maybe, a sickness that needs to be cured;

it's not like it's insensitive when business moguls profiteers

over someone's mental illness with quirky t-shirts like

cute but psycho or adorable little cups that says 

how much we deserve to be in mental asylums;

but it sells- holy shit, does mental illness sells.

my most popular tumblr posts are about depression

and they get me likes, followers because self-depreciation

is a fucking talent and posting about it is what gets me known,

and running blogs like pretty girls don't eat is quite fun,

ruining a teenage girl's psyche and plucking on somebody's insecurity

for fame, for a fantasy of romance and being saved 

is totally fine but it isn't and it shouldn't be fine

because glorifying mental illness, glorifying pain, mental pain,

that nobody will understand except for those who went through it

isn't something beautiful.

 it isn't art, it isn't love and it isn't romantic. 

you know what it is?

it's a fucking tragedy. 

-

my slam poem y'all. 

dedicated to ichorgays for lovely poetry!