Three Empty Words #UDWAwards2018

Chapter 6

I'm so disappointed, I touch my lips with my fingers and I can't believe that the first kiss I've been keeping for the last seventeen years of my life will end up like this.

At the same time I'm also worried and confused whether or not tell about this to Marcus or whether or not just keep it, besides he will never know cause no one except me and Jonas has witnessed it.
 
“Babe” he reaches for my hand and laced it with his.

“I love you” he rests his head on my shoulder. We are sitting on a bus, he said he'll send me home after class that's why.

“I said I love you” he repeated, assuming that I did not hear what he said. I tuck my bottom lip inside and breathe sharply. “I love you too” I said under my breath.

Those words... saying it is like stabbing my chest with a sword, I don't think I can ever say it to him again even though it was once my favorite three words. Not now that being kissed by Jonas is interfering with my thoughts.

Ugh. I could hardly sleep last night, our scene inside the elevator keeps repeating in my dreams and I can feel like it's really happening for real. I can still feel his lips on mine and it's so weird.

I just can't get Jonas off of my mind. What did he do to me?
Dammit!

I looked down at Marcus and he's already sleeping on my shoulders. I stare at his long lashes and curved lips, and then I wonder how they taste.

Are they as soft as Jonas'? Will he kiss me more passionately than Jonas did? Shit... I'm thinking about Jonas again,

I feel like a total bitch.

I tried to think about a different subject like how's my grade in Math? Will I still pass this semester? I hope so. Then I looked at Marcus again...

I know it is easier to stay in love with him but I guess I will never be the same.

Still I'll try...

Even though every day I'm sinking further with him...
I love Marcus. He's in my heart. He's the only guy I wanna be with.