Poems

Ode to Death

first poem of the year? wowie off to a great start
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why do i imagine death
as a sweet melody
that i would gladly
like to hear
with my whole body
and soul?
why do i imagine death
as if i'm flying
from a balcony
as i try to keep
the tears from falling?
why do i imagine death
as a knife
that's imbedded in me,
that's shiny as i pull it
from my chest,
my heart aching
with a pain that
hasn't gone away
in a while?
why do i imagine death?
as i know
that i am but
a plan B,
and that you'd always
choose someone else
over me.
Why do i imagine death?
as i can never really know
if you truly love me,
because in the past
you have chosen
one after another,
only falling back to me
when there's no one else
to chase after.
im afraid to ask,
because i think i know
what your answer would be,
and i know that
i would be a mess.
but here i am now,
a mess,
and you haven't even confirmed
my guess.
why do i imagine death?
there is no reason for me to live.
i can ask myself
what i want to do,
but i waste my time
doing absolutely nothing
and following societal rules
that make me just
another one
of the 7 billion people that exist.
why exist with no purpose?
people can say
that your actions
carve your purpose,
others say your purpose
is to please a god.
but why is it that we
came to be?
why is it that we feel love
when it is inevitable
that that love will
be taken from us,
whether due to our actions,
or the actions of those
we love,
or through death?

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