after all.. | raura

n i n e t e e n

one week without the person you love the most. one fucking week without his kisses. one week without his hugs. one week without feeling his skin. his touch.

it's horrible. i hate it. i need him. i need him now.

i moved in with my mom, dad and sister. i missed living with them. but i'll never miss it as much as i'll miss living with ross. goofing around with him, piggy back rides, giggles, messing around.

i miss him

and i also need to stop thinking about him. i left him for a reason...

sighing, i put the ice cream back in the freezer and collapsed on the couch with all the fluffy pillows and blankets. "i'll be back at 7 honey." my mom kissed my head and walked out the door. "okay" i mumbled, after she left.

"laura. you gotta stop being so gloomy" vanessa skipped into the living room "leave me alone ness" i groaned, and buried my face in a blanket "come on, let's go to the mall and get your sprint back up" she said, all preppy. i lifted my face to look at her "no"

i said, emotionlessly. "come on" she whined "ness leave me alone" i buried my face back into the blanket "you got to stop thinking about him. you're the one who left him" i could feel her roll her eyes. "well now i regret it" i looked up once again

"well the tell him!" she said "he's on tour ness" i said. "and he'll be on tour for a whole year" i felt a lump grow in my throat. "just leave. i wanna be alone" my voice cracked. "okay. i hope you feel better" she whispered, and kissed my cheek.

she walked upstairs to get changed. tears rolled down my cheeks. i hate my life without him. he makes everything right. without him..life just seems so...purposeless.

i just spend my time crying. i cry so hard that i know nothing will make it better. nothing. i have that feeling everyday and it sucks.

ross

"ross! we were on 10 minutes ago! get your lazy ass up now!" my brother yelled "okay, chill" i mumbled, and took my guitar, walking on to stage.

-

"do you guys want one more song?!" i yelled through the mic. the crowd went wild. "this song is dedicated to someone back home that i love more than anything!!" i said through the mic "THIS IS LOVE ME NOW EVERYONE!"

"Pulling me further
Further than I've been before
Making me stronger
Shaking me right to the core, oh
I don't know what's in the stars
Never heard it from above, the world isn't ours
But I know what's in my heart
If you ain't mine I'll be torn apart

I don't know who's gonna kiss you when I'm gone
So I'm gonna love you now, like it's all I have
I know it'll kill me when it's over
I don't wanna think about it, I want you to love me now

I don't know who's gonna kiss you when I'm gone
So I'm gonna love you now, like it's all I have
I know it'll kill me when it's over
I don't wanna think about it, I want you to love me now

(Love me now, love me now)
Oh, oh, love me now, oh, oh, oh, yeah
(Love me now, love me now)
Oh, I want you to love me now

Something inside us
Knows there's nothing guaranteed, yeah
Girl, I don't need you
To tell me that you'll never leave, no
When we've done all that we could
To turn darkness into light, turn evil to good
Even when we try so hard
For that perfect kind of love, it could all fall apart