My Taboo Disease

1/21/17 "Why Would You Write This?"

           As I mentioned previously, I started writing this story for my friends and family, to better help them understand why I have been like I have been and to help them get a grasp on what's going on medically. Basically, to keep people up to date. Today I got an innocent enough question, "why would you make this public? Isn't it kind of a...private problem?" BINGO! Thank you miss for asking this!

           Why yes, it is a very private problem, it's about my vagina for God's sake! But here's a few reasons why I put this out there.

           For one, I did this for myself. If you read this whole thing, you know how long I kept this a secret. Eight years to be exact. Eight years of keeping this a "private" problem that nobody, and I mean nobody  knew about. In my silence the shame I felt for my body was something no girl, no woman should ever feel. Writing about this, making it public is liberating. Letting go of the shame is liberating. Educating people and empowering women is liberating. Women online and women who I have known for years have reached out to me to thank me for being open about my condition, and shared their struggles with similar pain. It has made me feel normal again, like I'm not alone in this battle.

             Which brings me to number two: I did this for other women. As women, as human beings we should feel free to go to our doctors and mothers and friends and tell them our problems without the flush of embarrassment showing on our faces. We should feel worthy of others being concerned for us, and worthy of medical attention and medical personnel's time. When something feels wrong, or different, or even interesting, we should feel the freedom to ask questions, because without questions there are no answers. And with no answers, there is no education, without education there is no empowerment...

             As much as this was for women it was also equally for men. Men who want a better understanding of women's bodies, men who's girlfriends, wives, daughters, mothers, friends suffer from something similar. I hope that they can read this and get a glimps into their world, a better understanding of the emotion that comes along with a condition like this, and maybe (hopefully) it will help them help their partners.

              So yeah, it's a private matter for sure, but I don't believe it has to be. I don't believe there is shame in talking about your body.