Read My Lips: Restricted Version

RML: Chapter 24 (R)

Chapter 24


I will take his heart away from precious Macie, Amber vowed as Linc started at her hairline and kissed his way down her body again.  I will! … Eventually … Tonight is tonight, after all.

He had looked at her just a moment ago with such yearning.  Needing reassurance that what they were doing was the right thing.  That what he was feeling was okay.  He’s so confused.  He needed her to heal him, to love him enough that he might someday love her back, whether he’d admit that or not.  And she did.  Yes, she felt his pain and torment, but she also felt his need...to love again.  He didn’t think he wanted to fall in love again, but he did.  Maybe, this wasn't the best way to heal him, yet this was what they both needed right now.  Her to feel like a woman.  Him to feel a woman loving him.

"Amber, you’re thinking about it," Linc said, coming back up her body and into her vision.  

“No, I am not,” she lied with a smile on her face.

"I just nibbled on your pinky toe and you didn't so much as twitch."

"Sorry," she said.  "Go back and do it again.  I will twitch for you."

He braced his forearms on the mattress beside her head.  "Can I make something else twitch?"

She grinned, loving this casual teasing side of him, wishing it would chase away the shadows in his eyes.  "What did you have in mind?"

"There is a lot we still haven't done yet...that is, if you still want to continue?”

She arched her body under him like a cat stretching.  "Oh, I want to continue, but since I do not know what those missing things are, you will have to show me."

"Well...there's this," he said and bent to kiss her.  

Amber laughed deep in her throat.  "I think we have covered that one."

He raised his head, serious and thoughtful.  "Are you sure?  It feels like the first time to me.  Hold on...let me check again."

She giggled over and over while he kissed her at every angle, a pleated frown making him look so solemn...and silly.  He kissed her lips and her chin and her cheeks, her nose and her eyelids, her temples and jaw, then back to her mouth.  She sighed as he moved further south, kissing, licking and nibbling at all those parts she was sure he had covered at least twice already.  But he took his time loving on her breasts and she didn’t mind a bit that he was stalling the eventual sex part.  It felt so wonderful, him loving her with his body.  She could forgive his hesitation...this time.

When his fingers starting doing the same things as his mouth to the juncture between her thighs, she moaned and said, “Linc...please...”

He came back to her then, grinning like a Cheshire cat.  “What is it, sweetheart?  Do you want to stop?”

“No! I do not want to stop!  But I cannot stand it any longer,” she told him, begging him.  “I need you, Linc!  Please...”

“Please, what?”

“Linc!”

“Is this what you want?”  And he pressed the tip of his manhood into her.  Amber’s eyes widened, not expecting it, though she burned to have him inside her.  He watched her carefully.  And he pushed a little further.  “Are you okay?”

She couldn’t speak.  She bit down on her tongue to stop from crying out -- not in pain -- but so she wouldn’t shout “Hallelujah!” in his face.  That would be rude.  

“Amber?”

Just stop talking!  Her eyes rolled closed, her attempt to ignore his questions and just enjoy this, feeling the stretching of her body as it managed to accommodate him.  Slowly and gently, he pushed further and further, his breath tickling her cheek as though he continued to speak to her.  She didn’t want to answer.  She wanted to make this moment last forever, drowning in the sensation of him taking even a little part of her...of her accepting him into her body, just like she took him into her heart.  Her interior muscles protested a little as he stretched her, but then they decided it felt damn good, too, so she relaxed and allowed him to fill her.  It was an odd sensation at first.  She loved it, loved the slide of him, the lazy exit, the unhurried penetration, burying himself to the hilt, and back out again, not quite separating, not quite leaving her, and yet she wanted more.  But she didn’t know what that more was...only something more than this careful in and out.

He kissed her eyelids, making her look at him.  “Amber...are you okay?  Am I hurting you?”

“I am wonderful,” she said, smiling brightly, now that she was whole.

“Yes, you are,” he said.  “Wonderful...and beautiful...and oh, yeah...”  He kissed her between words and pulled slightly out, only to fill her again.  She gazed up into his face, loving even the tiny wrinkles around his eyes and the sprinkle of gray at his temples.  His gaze locked onto hers, measuring her reactions to his motions, watching for any signs of pain or discomfort.

Her hips began moving on their own, following him, chasing him, playing cat and mouse, and gradually, his handsome face stiffened with restraint.

"Amber...?"  There was some anguish around his jaw, set tightly.  "Are you okay?  Ready to go a little faster?  Because I...Honey, I'm hanging on to a thread here."

Amber didn't want to cause him anymore pain...no torment from her.  He had enough of that in his life.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips and said, "Take me, Linc.  I'm yours."

A sweet kiss, a grab around her waist, and he began moving...hesitantly at first, but steadily getting faster and faster, growling vibrations against her neck with every thrust.  God, she never thought...never assumed...oh, my heavens...higher and higher he took her, drawing her upper body completely off the mattress in a wanton embrace only designed for lovers.  Amber gasped for breath against his shoulder with every thrust, while her fingers clawed to hold onto him.  Her heart banged inside her chest and she felt warm all over.  A long, hot soak in a bubble bath kind of warm all over.  A hot-fudge, banana split on a Sunday afternoon sense of euphoria.  A riding her bicycle downhill with her hands in the air and her eyes closed kind of thrill.  Even her toes were curled up in ecstasy.

Then everything around her -- around them -- all of time and space and light and darkness...it just stopped.  There was a burst of something bright and electrical, zings of rapture catapulted through every physical avenue in her body, veins, nerves, even her bone marrow, sparkling with waves and waves of pleasure like she’d never known before.  

Linc kissed her roughly, swirling his tongue inside her mouth, sucking her screams of passion into him. She clung to him, almost afraid of what she was feeling, what her body was experiencing...what his body was doing to hers.  It had not been this way during the rest of the lovemaking.  It had not been this powerful.  She loved it, and she wanted more, but she honestly didn’t think she could handle another orgasm like that one so soon.  Then Linc’s body seized up...then convulsed violently as he kissed her harder, bruising her lips against her teeth, until all movement came to a dead stop.  Except for his tongue and his fingers which gripped her hips, imprisoning her body to his.  She felt him swell within her, completing her.  Tears of blissful surprise leaked out of her.  She inhaled the first full breath since he entered her, and slowly let it out.

Linc lowered her down to the bed, languidly drawing a soft response from his now-tender kiss.  He eased away to look at her, saw her tears and burned shame on his cheeks.  “I hurt you...I’m sorry, Amber.  I got carried away, and...Shit, I’m so sorry.  It was your first time.  I should have gone slower.  I should have been easier on you...you felt so good, so warm and wonderful, and it’s been a long time since I’ve...You’re gonna be sore, I know it...dammit, what the hell is wrong with me?  God, Amber!  I really didn’t mean to hurt you...we’ll never do this again--”

Amber’s vision was blurry through the wetness in her eyes and she was having a difficult time keeping up with his angry, apologetic ramblings.  Finally, she just squeezed an inner muscle and he shut up.  Grinning, she said, “Linc, calm down.  I am fine.  I am great.  I am crying because what you did to me.  It as wonderful...I never thought it would be like that and I...I would really, really like to do it again, but right now, I just need you to hold me.”

“Hold you...okay,” he said, relief darkening his eyes.  “I’ll hold you all night, Amber, and I, um...thank you...”

Not quite believing he actually said that, she raised an eyebrow.  ‘You are welcome?”

“I don’t mean it like that, like I’m trying to get rid of you already,” he said, relaxing his upper body to rest on an elbow by her side.  His lower body, however, didn’t seem eager to go anywhere just yet.  “I meant, thank you for trusting me with...um, with your first time.  I wish I could give you more, but...well, we’ve already covered that, haven’t we?”

“More than I care to repeat right now,” she said and touched his lips.  “Can we just hold each other and not think about that for a while?”

“It would be my pleasure,” he said, closing in on her mouth again.  There was some separating and some adjusting and crawling across the bed, but finally, Amber snuggled under Linc’s sheets, her head on his chest and his strong arms curled around her.  She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she said she wouldn’t do that.  They didn’t have to talk about that.  Yet, somehow their lovemaking doesn’t seem quite complete without those words.  

Nestling deeper into his embrace, she yawned heavily.  She wasn’t tired, but her body was so limp she felt like she’d been hit with a tranquilizer gun...and she was hungry.  Linc started laughing, his chest jerking with his amusement, and she peeked up at his face.  A grin flashed back at her.  “I think half of Missouri can hear your stomach growling.”

“Sorry...lunch was a long time ago,” she replied.

"I'm sure I can whip something up," he said.  "If you don't mind me leaving you for a bit."

Amber sat up, afraid that if he left, he’d start over-thinking his actions tonight.  "I mind.  I will help."

“Honey...I asked you to come out here today -- not that I planned all this -- but I don’t expect you to cook your own dinner.”

“I do not mind helping,” she protested.

“I do,” he said, “I was raised better than that.  You’re my guest, dammit.”

“Okay,” she said surpressing her worries and wrapping the sheet around her breasts as she sat up higher on the fluffy pillows.  If she persisted, he’d just push her further away.  Patience, Amber.  Have patience...and faith.  “What are we having?”

He frowned.  “Oh, um...I’m not sure.”

“What can you make?”

His frown deepened as he thought hard about that.  “Yeah...maybe you should come help me...”

Amber snickered.  “You do not cook much, do you?”

“Not really.”

She scrambled out of the bed, immediately felt dizzy as she stood up, her knees wobbling like cooked spaghetti -- Mmm...spaghetti... -- but Linc was right there to support her against his chest until the world stopped moving under her feet.  “You okay, there?” he asked, tilting her face up to him with his finger.  She loved it when he did that, so gentle, almost like a lover’s caress...and considering the past hours, it was that exactly.

“I am fine,” she assured him, but then she moved away and caught a very good look at his naked body, standing there so handsomely and...and just plain hot, and she thought he was in prime shape for a man of forty years.  Or thirty years.  Hell, some twenty-year-old guys should be so freaking lucky.

He was looking at her the same way she was looking at him, and she then found herself in his arms again, getting kissed again, his eager palms touching her all over again, and she had the thought that maybe she didn’t need to eat tonight...it wasted so much time.  To go downstairs, and dig around in the kitchen, and then fix the food, and eat the food, and then there was the trip back upstairs -- if they made it that far -- and that could take a good twenty minutes out of their evening together.

Finally, he let her breathe, pushing her slightly away with a grin.  “Okay, okay.  You’re hungry.  I get it.  I will feed you now.”  He bent and kissed her stomach.  

Amber had a gnawing need rumbling in her belly, and she guessed it could be hunger.

“But we can’t go down like this,” Linc said.  “Wil...hopefully, he’s smart enough to stay away for a while, but you never know.”  

Crap.  Amber forgot all about his brother.  The last thing she wanted was an audience.  It was bad enough the man knew what was happening between Linc and her.  It was something else entirely for him to witness it first hand.  

Then she thought about Lucy, and how she abandoned her friend -- even though Lucy insisted that she at least try to seduce Linc.  Poor Lucy.  Having to endure Wilson Martin all the way back to her house.  I owe her...big time.

Linc walked over to his dresser, removed a pair of athletic shorts for himself and tossed her a white t-shirt.  Amber held it to her nose, breathing in the clean scent that couldn’t quite erase Linc’s own personal smell.  Eagerly, she slid it over her head, loving the way the soft cotton teased her skin.  But she still felt a little exposed, thinking that if Wil did show up, she’d have to be careful about bending over and raising her arms, so she found her panties and put them on, too.  It wasn’t much, but she sure as hell wasn’t pulling on her jeans.  That would send Linc the message that she was done for the night, and that wasn’t anywhere close to the truth.  He arched an eyebrow at her panties as she secured them around her hips, but he didn’t say anything.

Leading her through the dark, unfamiliar house, he helped her down the stairs and into the kitchen, only turning on a light over the stove.  She was able to catch small glimpses of rooms as they walked through them.  The mix of old country and modern bachelor styles amused her.  She smiled at the quilted throw over the back of the man-sized leather recliner and the giant flat-screen television sitting on the antique walnut credenza.  She loved it.  It was all Linc.  And if she could ever convince him she belonged with him, then this was the house she wanted for them...just as it was.  It felt lived in and loved, and there were ghosts of happy times and family here.  It felt like a home.  It felt like a family should live here.  And Amber ached to be part of that family...to be part of him.  To be happy with him forever, and him happy with her.

It was the kitchen secured that feeling of longing in her.  The cool brick floor felt wonderful under her bare feet, making her dream of standing here every morning with a cup of coffee in her hand and her husband hugging her as they looked out the back window to a rising sun before their children woke up.  There was the farmhouse porcelain sink standing between cabinets that looked hand-crafted, which probably knew the loving touch of generations of Martin women before it.  A table and chairs made of thick plank wood sat in the middle of the room under an aged, copper light.  It was big enough to sit eight people, and Amber pictured serving meals there to a little boy in cowboy boots and a little girl with pig-tails.  She could see it so clearly, she almost got tears in her eyes.

Did Macie ever walk into this room and see it the same way?  A family here, laughing and loving each other?  Amber knew Macie had been expecting Linc’s baby when she died, but did she ever think about how her child would look here in this house?  Could she see it so clearly, she could almost reach out and touch the soft cheek of a baby in Linc’s arms while he attempted to spoon applesauce into the little one’s mouth?  

Amber could.  And Amber sent a small prayer up to Heaven in hopes that Linc would one day see this room -- see her -- this way.  

She shook her head, wanting the images to go away for a moment.  None of them would happen unless Linc fell in love with her, in any case.  She couldn’t think about what might be.  Right now was right now.  And right now, she was hungry.

The heavy cast-iron, gas stove gleamed majestically along one wall, begging for someone to use it, but the refrigerator was a double-door stainless steel creation she could drool over.  Too bad there was nothing in it...except for a carton of milk about to expire, a dozen eggs, butter, and a few assorted condiments.  

“Wow,” she whispered, peering around Linc’s shoulders with an amused grin.  “There is not much here.  How do you live?”

If she wasn’t supposed to see his words, “I haven’t,” then she figured she’d ignore them.  His face took on a painful, regretful expression, and she didn’t want that.  She wanted him grinning and laughing and looking at her like he had up in his bedroom.  No more sorrow...no regrets until morning, at least.  And no thoughts of Macie, damn her.  She was even creeping into her thoughts now.

Taking him by the waist, she moved him aside.  “Then let me at it.  I can make us some French toast.  You do have bread, right?”

He was behind her now, so if he answered, she didn’t see.  His lips, however, his nibbling at the side of her neck, where the curve met her shoulder, and she sighed.  “One kiss for yes, two for no, Linc.”

He kissed her no less than six times.

“Okay,” she said, grabbing the eggs, milk and butter.  “That was either three no’s or two no’s and two yes’s.”

She got no discernible reply from him, only more butterfly caresses by his lips, so she figured she’d leave him to his administrations.  He seemed happy to do them, and that was just fine with her.  He wasn’t thinking about Macie, or how he missed her.  She hoped not.  Because then, she’d have to slap him like Cher in Moonstruck and tell him to, “Snap out of it!”  Macie wasn’t here.  She would never be here ever again.  Amber was the woman in his kitchen, half naked.  The woman who just crawled out of his bed after hours of making love to him.

Macie was gone.  Amber was here.  And Linc better get used to that fact, because she planned to remind him at every turn.  Just not tonight.  Tonight is tonight.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Tomorrow was another day.

She found the bread box while he sucked on her earlobe, and she unearthed a griddle pan and a mixing bowl from a drawer while his hands feathered their way up inside her shirt, sweeping along her stomach to her breasts, all the while he pressed his front to her back and his groin to her bottom, grazing from side to side to let her know to hurry up and cook something so she could eat.  Then he could make a snack out of her.

Amber dipped the bread slices in the egg mixture and laid them on the hot griddle.  She was turning them over to cook the other side when his hands glided down her belly to wiggle into her panties.  She groaned, closed her eyes and lost herself in his touch.  Suddenly, his fingers left her, took the spatula from her own slack fingers and removed the toast off the griddle and onto a waiting plate.  Amber blinked.  Heavens...he almost made her burn her dinner.

He flipped the heat off, reached around into a cabinet for some syrup, and poured a generous amount over the French toast.  Amber could barely breathe.  He made her feel so good, teasing her like that and then leaving her.  But he turned her by her shoulders and kissed her hard.  Picking her body up with one hand, the plate with the other, he carried her to the table and set her on top of it.  He said nothing as he sat down in a chair in front of her, pulled her legs around so that her feet rested beside his hips on the chair and began feeding her.  Thick maple syrup oozed off the grilled bread, dropping onto her chin, and he’d raise up to lick it off.  Some fell onto her bare thigh, and he licked that off, too...thoroughly.  Oh, God...so thoroughly, making her second-guess her underwear decision.

When every slice of the meal was gone, he dipped his finger into the syrup, smeared it across her lips and kissed her.  Then he’d run a sticky finger down her throat and lap at it until she was clean.  When his syrup-coated fingers disappeared under her shirt to paint her breasts and his head quickly followed, she moaned and thought, I’ll never look at maple syrup the same way ever again.

That was until she glanced up and stared into the brown eyes of a grinning, uninvited cowboy standing in the doorway of the mudroom off the back porch and seeing his older brother submerged under her t-shirt.  Then she wished she could crawl into the syrup bottle and drown from mortification.