Kitten {Kellic} [Book 2]

Chapter 15

Okay so really random thought but I could see a love triangle between Ariel, Tony and Mike like seriously and then they could like decide that they were gonna be in a poly relationship like I could ship that

~I Love Him~

I sighed and plated with Kellin's long, pale fingers, bored.

"Did you know, when we first started to get to know each other, Kellin and I, we uh we were about to go walk around the garden and I was going to pick something out for Kells to wear and I asked him what his favorite color was. He told me black," I said with a sad smile on my face. "He was this cute little innocent and unknowing kid and he didn't even know that black is a shade and I wanted to tease him for it but I couldn't. He really thought it was a color and I realized that Jesse, the man who took him, never really taught him shit when he had him. I told my brother and continued to move Kitten's fingers around.

The two of us stayed quiet for a while, neither of us really saying anything. It's been a month since Mike moved in with me and it's actually been nice having him here, he's kept me just a little sane. I leaned down and kissed Kellin's knuckles.

"I could see myself marrying him you know," I said looking down at his ring finger. "I was going to propose to him actually. I mean, marriage isn't my thing but, Kellin made it where I really thought about it. I thought I'd propose a few months before our daughter was born and then maybe like a month before he had the baby we'd have a small ceremony with just a few people or something."

Mike raised his eyebrows, shocked.

"Seriously?" He asked, surprise lacing his voice. "I thought you were a no marriage, no true love, no relationship kinda guy."

I nodded and smiled down Kellin, squeezing his limp hand lightly.

"I love him Mike," I whispered quietly. "I love him so much that it almost hurts. I just want him to wake up and come home with me so we can lay in bed and I can bug the hell out of him and make him laugh because holy shit, his laugh is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I-I never thought that I'd really and truly experience love you know? I thought I was incapable of feeling true emotions for someone and then this little Kitten came along and I was just hooked on him from the very second I saw him. I didn't want to be either, not loving, not feeling, it's all I've really known you know? But I adore Kellin, I would kiss the ground he walked on and I don't think he ever truly realized how much I love him. I know I'm a moody dick pretty much all the time, even with him but he never cared. I just wish I had one more chance to truly show him that I'm absolutely crazy about him."

Mike said nothing for a few minutes and I wiped at my slightly misty eyes, this past year has been unbearable, so much so that I'm actually crying. I don't cry, I've never cried but god damn, I miss my kitten.

"I've never heard you talk like that," he muttered. "I've never even heard you speak about your feelings. Much less admit that you love someone. You've never even told me that you love me and I'm your little brother. I thought people like you didn't even love."

"That's psychopaths bro," I said with a chuckle and rubbed my thumb over the back of Kellin's hand. "Sociopaths can love, but when they do it's like a fierce love. That's what all the therapists have told me over the years at least. And they're pretty much right, I adore Kellin." I told him and moved so that I was resting my head on Kellin's shoulder, letting out a long, slow breath. His hair was starting to get really long, I'd have to have Ariel come cut it soon. I felt Mike rub my back slowly.

"He's going to wake up Vic, he has to."

"What if he doesn't?" I asked my voice cracking. God, I felt ridiculous but I couldn't help it, I was starting to lose hope, what if I lost Kellin forever? He'd never know that I'm not mad about the baby dying, never know that I'm so, so in love with him. His last thing would have been me picking him up and him apologizing.

He'd never get to live a long life with me, the two of us growing old together.

It wasn't right, God, it wasn't fair. I'd give anything to just trade places with him if it meant he'd be okay. I've done nothing but pray to every higher being, for the first time since I was ten, I prayed to God that Kellin would just wake up.

"Do you remember that time when we were kids, and you set Ma's hair on fire?" Mike asked me and I smiled at the memory.

"Of course, you swore it was the best day of your life," I muttered.

"Still is one of them, next to the time you wound up making Ian Colbie go to a mental institution because he was convinced he was hearing voices and that you were- what was he thought you were?" He asked me laughing.

"I told him I was his worst nightmare, the devil himself and that I was going to show him what bullying looked like. He killed himself two years later."

"Yeah I know, we went to the funeral, you were already deployed I think."

"I was, I was training for the marines at the time," I confirmed. "I know I don't say, or well apparently have never said it. I could have sworn I've told you before but you know I am very fon-"

"Yeah, I love you too Vic," Mike said and I looked over at him to find him grinning. "I know you'll probably never say the actual words to anyone but Kellin, but I know you do."

I sent him a small smile and sat up a little so I could look over Kellin once more.

"Tell me about him, how'd you meet? I mean wasn't he kidnapped at the time?"

I chuckled darkly, if only Mike truly knew what all Kellin was mixed up in.

"I'll tell you that another day, but as for what he's like." I said, "Well he's everything I'm not. Compassionate, sweet, as innocent as a virgin but trust me, he's no virgin and for the most part that whole innocent thing is just an act." I told him, thinking about all the kinky things that my kitten and I had done. "He was so excited for the baby, he'd get so pissed at me when I would call her an it. He said that I should never call another living being an it, ever. I tried using them and they but he would get onto me for it. Our baby was a girl, Kellin was just sure of it. He said he could feel it, that it was his mother's intuition or whatever. He wanted her to wear frilly dresses just like him too. When they performed surgery and removed her from his uterus, I had her cremated. I didn't want to bury her without Kellin and I couldn't just keep a baby coffin around the house you know? She was still too underdeveloped to know her actual sex and I still don't even know what Kellin wanted to name her. My baby's urn doesn't even have her name on it yet. I wish I didn't kill Jack so soon, I wish I could fucking bring him back from the dead and just kill him over and over again, as many times it would take to get him to feel what I felt when I lost Kellin." I told him bitterly.

I didn't even really care about Barakat anymore though, I just wanted my sweet little Kitten to wake up and come home with me.

That's all I wanted anymore.