I despise me.
i used to be not able to pinpoint it,
everything is what i hate,
about myself,
it's killing me,
how i'm not like the rest of them,
my family,
just doesnt get,
how i'm not like them,
not as social,
not as tough,
i'm emotional- but blunt,
in the worst ways possible.
i hate how my stomach churns,
with anxiety,
i hate,
the way i have to hold my breath,
or pinch my arm,
to make eye contact,
to speak up.
i hate these walls,
i hide behind,
they watch me sleep,
they judge me,
on how I waste my life,
-inside them,
i'm jealous,
how they have similar cracks,
and are poured on,
they still stand tall,
even though they get pushed against,
by the wind,
and my back,
they support me,
they see me at every view,
how I hate myself,
fight myself,
mentally and physically,
two sides stuck in one,
like a ticking time-bomb,
i'm going to self destruct.
i hate,
how my mind is stuck on repeat,
about death,
it's funny,
so don't forget to laugh,
and the way,
i'm selfish,
on how the way I have it better,
than I deserve,
unlike some people who
-are way stronger than me.
i hear the life,
of my family,
having fun,
-without me.
i hate these thoughts,
inside my head,
that convince me,
that,
they'll be fine without me,
but i know,
it's true.
so I'll just stay,
in these four corners,
tied between two ends,
from big dreams,
and my self esteem.
so I'll despise myself.
YOU ARE READING
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PoetryPause, what do you feel right now in this moment? These poems are all self-made, they range in size and are all relatable to life's feelings. So pause what you are doing, and take a look.
