Gotta get out {Aston Irwin fanfic}

Chapter 3~ Voices.

I woke up this morning with a pounding in my head. I then realized that i didn't take my medicine last night and my alarm didn't go off this morning, the alarm that wakes me up so i can take another one.

I slowly got up out of my bed and walked across the cold wooden floors into my bathroom where i found myself face to face with myself in the mirror. The old me was gone. I was now replaced with a girl with dark bags under her eyes, and skin that was filled with imperfections.

Look at you. You are so ugly. No one wants a girl who is broken. No one can even look as ugly as you are. Do everyone a favor and die already. Gavin was perfect. You didn't deserve him. He was too good for you. Maybe that is why he killed himself. Whore. Slut. Bitch. Fat. Ugly.

The voices are what happened when i didn't take my medicine. I still looked at myself with disgust as i looked into the mirror. If i didn't get a refill of my meds then it would be like this till i took one. I slipped out of my pjs quickly so i could a quicker shower.

I took off all of the bracelets that were stacked on my right wrist. I looked at my bare wrist to see scars lined up on the surface of my skin. I ran my finger over the scars gently as the voices still talked to me.

Cut more, maybe then you will get the hint that you need to die. Grab the razor. You know you want to. Do it. Cut it.

I put my head in my hands. My hands were propped up with my knees. I felt tears brimming my eyes. My eyes got so heavy with tears that i just let them fall.

I got up off of the floor to find myself looking in the mirror yet again. I looked at myself. The voices were right, i am hideous. But they weren't just many different people talking in my head. There was only one voice. A voice of the person i knew only so well. The voice that i miss so very much.

Gavin.

I looked down at the razor that sat on the edge of the sink. I thought for a minute looking right back into the mirror. "You promised you wouldn't do it again." i told to my reflection. But i just had an urge to do it.

I picked up the razor and slid down my bathroom wall. I looked down at my wrist then i looked at the razor.

I brought the razor to my skin quickly sliding it right across my wrist. I knew i had cut too deep right then when i saw the amount of blood that came out. It gushed out right when i picked up the razor from my skin.

I hopped in the shower quickly hoping that the bleeding would stop in there. I stood there seeing the blood mix with the water and fall down the drain.

Before i knew it, i was out of the shower. I looked at my wrist and it was still bleeding. I quickly got a towel and my first aid kit so i could attempt to stop the blood.

I opened the first aid kit pulling out the alcohol first. I quickly unscrewed the cap and poured it on my wrist.

The burning was ten times worse than i thought it would be, causing me to let out an earpeircing shriek.

As soon as it had stopped burning, i got some paper towels that had been folded and put them on my wrist getting electrical tape to hold the paper towels down.

I sat there satisfied with my bandaging skills so i put on some clean clothes throwing a green jumper on over it. I sat down on my couch and turned on the tv.

I heard knocking at my door as soon as i started watching the big bang theory. I got up and jogged to the door. I opened it to see an unfamiliar face at the door. He had solid black hair and dark brown eyes.

He was pretty attractive. I looked him in the eye as he did mine.

" Hi, my name is Calum. I am a friend of Ashton. My mates and i were wondering if you would like to come and eat dinner with us." He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes.

I looked down at my wrist. It hadn't bled so i think it won't bleed again.

" Uhhhhhh... I guess... Sure." i replied to him doing the friendliest smile i could. He smiled back and my heart flattered.

We stood there awkwardly for another minute or so before i decided to break the ice. " Well let me get changed and i will be right over."

" No you look beautiful now. Come on." he said giving me a smirk.

I nodded my head and walked with him to his apartment.

When i walked in i saw three boys sitting on a black leather couch playing Fifa.

Calum walked right in front of them, blocking the game and coughed. " The lady has arrived." he said pointing in my direction. Everything fell silent when they all looked at me.

I noticed Ashton first. He smiled and waved. There was a look in his eye that looked so very familiar to me. That look of disgust.

I noticed a brunette sitting right beside Ashton. He had blue eyes that i noticed from here.

I spotted another lad that sat beside the brunette, he was a blonde and has brighter blue eyes than the brunette. They all were pretty attractive.

The brunette came to me first, he looked me right in the eye and frowned. He held out his hand and softly said," Michael." he walked away as soon as we shook hands.

The blonde came up to me next. I held out my hand for him to shake, but he grabbed it and kissed it. I knew my face turned red. He looked up at me with his bright blue orbs and smiled. "Lukes the name." he said doing a crooked smirk. Before i could say hello to Ashton, Luke grabbed me by my right wrist making me hiss in pain.

"Are you alright? Did i hurt you? I am so sorry." he asked looking at me with concern.

I had to think of a lie. I had to think of one really quick.

" Its fine,i just... Have a bruise there."

I mentally slapped myself for saying that. Luke looked at me and nodded. I smiled back at him reassuringly.

He led me to the dining room where five plates had been laid on the table. A bowl of spaghetti lie right in the middle.

We all sat down at a seat. Luke sitting on my left side and Calum on my right. While we were eating i looked up at Ashton who had already been looking at me first. He would act like he wasn't but i am not stupid.

I looked over at Calum who was looking at my right arm. I looked down to see a huge red mark on the green jumper. I got up from the table quickly and ran up the stairs and into a bedroom and closed the door.

I looked around to see a sign of any bathroom. I looked into all of the doors that were in the bedroom to finally find the bathroom. I closed the door and quickly took my jumper off. The papertowels that were on my wrist had been soaked through with blood.

I took the bandage off revealing a terrible cut that had to be at least a centimeter deep. I looked at it and cried. Blood was now gushing out again sad what was worse was that i wasn't even in my bathroom.

I saw the puddle of blood on the floor beneath me. It was huge.My eyesight was getting blurry. My wrist was becoming numb. And before i knew it, everything went black.