Gotta get out {Aston Irwin fanfic}

Chapter 9- The letter

Ashton's point of view.

We were riding back home from the grocery store. Michael, Luke and i. I tried my hardest to avoid Luke ever since.... Nevermind.

I now only have two best mates, let's just say that.

"What did you guys think of Emma, huh?" Luke asked obviously trying to break the ice.

"Leave me alone." i fired at him.

"She reminded me of Mad. But she isn't coming back. She better not anyway." Michael spoke loudly at first but then brought his noise level down as he went further into the sentence.

" You were right when you said she looked like Madi, Ash. She could be Madi's twin how much they are alike." Luke chuckled.

"I told you to leave me alone." I scoffed.

"Hey, it isn't Luke's fault, Ash. You know that." Michael said while proceeding driving.

"I am not saying it is, Michael. All im saying is that you shouldn't lie. That's all." i say facing the window taking in the scenery.

"Man, i told you sorry already. I wish it would have been me who died Ashton. Honestly i would give anything to go back and change it." Luke mumbled leaning back against the leather in the car.

It was silent.

Silence is what it has been ever since Madison left. Its my fault she is gone. I believed Luke. I should've listened to her. She was my one and only. My other half. My soulmate or some mythical shit like that. But she was.... My person. That might sound weird, but i don't care. She was me. She understood how i felt. But now that she is gone, a part of me died with her.

I would give anything to get that part back.

We arrived at the apartment a couple moments later. I picked up my Dr. Pepper and brought it to the front door waiting for Michael and Luke to bring the groceries.

I unlocked the door with the silver key that belonged to the lock and walked in the house.

I stood there in shock at what i had seen. Emma was standing over Calum, rubbing his back as he looked at an open wooden box that lay in front of him.

The box looked awfully familiar. The sides had flowers engraved in them and although i could hear it faintly, i heard music coming out of it. The melody was Fur Elise. I now know how i know the box.

I made it for Madison.

I froze in shock as Michael and Luke did, also.

Emma looked up at me and froze herself. She looked absolutely gorgeous.She wore a sundress that came to her knees and grey converse on. She had a totally different style than Madison. Its absolutely crazy how two can be so alike but so different.

She automatically unfroze herself and grabbed the box that lay in front of Cal. She walked until she was in front of me and pushed the box into my chest.

"I believe this belongs to you." she said already walking out of the door.

I stood there with the box. Just comprehending what was going on.

I immediately ran up the stairs and into my room with the box. I closed the door and locked it and brought the box to my bed. I laid my Dr. Pepper on my nightstand. I looked at the box carefully, scanning it making sure this wasn't a joke.

It was the same exact box i had given Madi the day i had gotten out of class.

I am nervous. I am shaking so bad. I don't want to look in the box, but i just... feel like i should.

I let curiosity come over me and i quickly lifted the top of the box. It revealed an envelope with my name on the front written  in sloppy letters.

I knew where this letter came from.

The day she.... Yeah.

I took the letter out and held it against my heart. This is the only thing i have left. My Madison left me a letter.

I looked at the front when i took it off of my chest. I quickly turned it around and ripped it open and took out the folded paper that was inside.

I opened it and read it aloud.

Dear Ashton,

Hey baby! I am sorry that this is the one thing that is left for you from me. I am having ' the hallucinations' again baby. You were always there to comfort me before, and when you were there, they never came. I see them as if they were alive, and it hurts so bad. I can... Feel them. Not exactly them but how they feel. Pain comes over me and it is the worst thing anyone has ever felt. A sadness washes over me when i see the children. It is the type of sadness when you feel it is your fault. Like you killed them. Like they are  dead because of you. And you better not be blaming yourself. This was the best thing for both of us. I can only take so much, baby. The last time you saw me, you said goodnight. I told you goodbye and you never asked why.

I will miss you.

-Girl who had to get out.

Tears fell down my face as i read the letter. I threw the letter and the envelope on the ground as i yelled.

I let out a loud sob as i threw furniture around the room. Loud bangs filled the room. Furniture lay broken on the floor.

She is gone. She wanted to leave, Ashton.

I kept letting tears fall when i sat on my bed.

"Stop crying." i mumbled as i hit myself in the head repeatedly.

"Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying." i said as i hit myself each time.

My tears still fell. I knew this would happen. I knew that when i would start to cry, i wouldn't be able to stop.

I miss her smile, her laugh, her hair, her voice, her stare, her eyes, her nose, her cry, her eyelashes, her tan arms, her tiny legs, her walk, her feet. I miss everything. I would give anything just to touch her again. I would give anything to see her again.

She is gone.

Gone (gon) When something or someone is not there. Sentence : Madison is gone.

She is never coming back.

I did this.

I got up and walked toward my drumset and did what i never thought i could do.

I grabbed pieces and threw them everywhere. Soon, there was nothing in the spot where my drums had been.

I lay on the middle of the floor in the fetal position, crying my eyes out.

"Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying." i said as i hit myself in the head everytime i said that sentence.