Without A Word / Clexa AU

Chaper 11

"999 what's your emergency?" Octavia answered the phone.
In that second every emotion I suppressed so far flared up and created a lump in my throat. I couldn't breathe, i couldn't talk, I couldn't think, all I could do was feel and every single emotion in my heart was simply too much at that point.
"Clarke?" Octavia asked but I just started crying that turned into screaming while my phone slipped from my hands. My legs lost control the moment I sank to the ground and curled up in a ball with my knees pressed up against my chest. The pain I felt in my chest wouldn't stop but increase with every sharp breath I took between every crying fit. I didn't even know why I was so upset since Lexa and me weren't a thing and we only knew each other for a few days plus she simply was a horrible person but still, somehow she managed to melt my heart.
"Clarke, what the hell is wrong?" I noticed a raspy voice.
"Clarke, please answer us. Why are you crying?" Octavia panicked.
"Are you hurt?"
Even if I wanted to answer, no other sound than screaming would escape my lips. No matter how hard I tried to calm down, I couldn't win this war.
"Clarke! I swear I'm calling the police if you don't answer."
My gaze wandered to the phone and I slowly reached out my arm to press the red button.
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Lexa's POV

It was already late and the light was slowly fading when I returned to the camp. I knew I was way too harsh on Clarke and what happened in the morning was a knee-jerk reaction out of desperation but seeing Costia's face and hearing her voice freaked me out. Costia had always this effect on me and even after all this time being abandoned and left in the dark, a dream version of her could bring chaos into my life again.
I didn't understand. Why would I think about her and dream about her again, when I started forgetting her long time ago and when I started getting feelings for someone who was nothing like her. Sure, both had the same hair color but everything else was different. While costia was a manipulative control freak who would give anyone a death stare who just looked at me for a second, Clarke radiates a certain comfortable atmosphere that would bring me down whenever my blood started boiling in my veins. Clarke wasn't manipulative at all but I recognized a certain sadness and emptiness in her eyes when I looked at her. Something must have destroyed her so much that she stopped believing in any goodness and I was so stupid to show her it's true. I proved her there's no goodness in anyone, especially not in me.

I felt the need to talk to her, telling her what said was because I got caught up in a moment but I was too afraid I would screw up even more but if I didn't try she would never look at me again. I was so confused and desperate but determined to talk to her so I walked to our tent and kneeled down next to her sleeping bag. That was the moment I realized she was gone and hasn't touched her stuff.
Where are you Clarke? I asked myself and ran outside, desperately trying to find her. I searched everywhere but it was unsuccessful.

"Can I help you?"
A shiver ran down my spine when I turned around to see Jasper wearing a helmet light. It was hard to restrain myself from laughing because he looked so ridiculous.

"What?" He asked confused but I shook my head.
"Thought you could need my help."
"Indeed I do." I sighed. "Clarke's gone because I called her a terrible mistake."
Jasper opened his mouth.
"Don't say anything I know I screwed up but I'm here to make it up to her alright?"
He nodded. "Alright.. sooo where should we start looking for her?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Apparently she's not here in the camp and well.. technically she could be everywhere." I looked around and saw nothing but forest.
"Where do we want to start?"
"I have no idea.. what if she walked too far and got lost? What if something happened to her?"
I would never forgive myself
My heart started racing.
"Don't say that, we'll find her." He placed his one hand on my shoulder.
"We should split up." I opened a map that I found inside my jacket. The camp was circled in red color.
"We're here." I showed him "I'll walk along the river. From there I'll take the trail to the giant tree."
"I'll start here in the forest and meet you in the middle."
I nodded.
"Good luck." He mouthed before I made my way towards the river. Everything was quiet except some animals still seemed to be awake. The darkness didn't scare me. I was more afraid something had happened to Clarke and she would lie somewhere hurt and not being able to walk or she got lost and couldn't find her way back. Either way scared the hell out of me.
I shouldn't have acted like a complete asshole to her.
I searched every centimeter along the river but I found nothing, not even a single footprint or sign.
I was frustrated because I knew it would be even harder to find her in the dark forests.
My fear grew from one second to another and my steps became faster but suddenly I saw something light lying on the ground in the distance.

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Hey guys! Sorry for the bad writing and the terrible mistakes.. I'm not okay at the moment but felt the need to suppress my sadness with creativity.
Hope you liked this chapter tho. If you enjoyed reading it.. leave a comment or a like.
Will Lexa find Clarke? Find out in the next chapter.