The Royal Concubine (please read edited version)

Goodbye

          That night I didn't sleep. The day had passed in complete misery and I moped horribly. I was a complete fool for what I've done and I would do it all over again. I had to protect him. I dramatically wrote letters to everyone who had at one point cared about me.

          I wrote my uncle a happy cheerful letter that signified what a wonderful time I had on Earth:

           Ajussi,

          When my parents and siblings died in the fire, I was left alone to a world full of scorns and danger. You took me in as a daughter and gave me a family to sustain on, I will always remember that. You taught me the wonderful word of literature and how powerful words really are. So with these words, I mean to convey a meaning; it seems like my story in this world is coming to a halt, but that doesn't mean there's not a sequel. There's always another story to begin. My ajumnii didn't seem to like me all the time, I'm sorry I failed at being a good daughter to her. I hope she can forgive me, just like I forgave her. I am eternally grateful for everything.  

          I signed with a flourish to end. A name is as powerful as a whole book of medicine and history. I want them to remember mine.

I couldn't write to Yoongi, not yet at least. I wanted to write the song of a tragic love story that always ends the way it should be, in death. It's the most important that he's the one who remembers me. Like hell he would forget. I wasn't some fragile flower, I made a sacrifice and I was going to stick to it no matter what got in my way. My scrambled words did not do the justice of breaking the King's heart.   

          I grabbed my pen again, I was going to say my goodbyes to the playful princes who I hadn't seen much of. Always busy with his new gadgets and learning how to rid of his shyness was Prince Jungkook and Prince Namjoon was the classical scandal of the crowd. I laughed merrily like a crazed person as I recalled all the fights I've witnessed between them at the palace. I wrote how much of a shame it was that I didn't know them better. In the middle of signing my name, bile crept up my throat. I hastily rushed to my chamber pot and emptied my stomach of the ginger water and fruits I had been instructed to eat from the doctor. The ceiling spun in circles and my breath left me. I felt terrible and tried to shout to the guard outside. I held tight to a cabinet's leg. I hadn't gotten the attention of the guard with my voice so I lowered to a crawl and dragged myself to the door. My vision started to darken and a giant headache pounded at my head. Through my haze I gripped a glass ceramic case with both of my hands that was astray on a small stand. My fingers almost slipped but I held on with shaky hands. As strong as I could I smashed it against the floor. The sound was loud.

          Pain flared up my hand like fire. Blood oozing onto the floor.

          "What's wrong my lady!!" The guard finally came in. 

          The room was dark to my eyes and my mind went blank. 

          The days went by in a sickly haze. I was informed by the doctor that I would be leaving early the next morning to seclusion. The queen was kept hidden on the palace groups somewhere. There was a rumor spreading by the maids and guards that the queen had made a quick recovery but there was fear the sickness would reemerge. 

          Stumbling out of my bed and towards my desk, I caught the wooden chair hastily. The legs gave way to my overpowering weight but my balance returned before my body could crash to the floor. I slipped slowing into the seat, turning my yellowed gaze towards the blank papers before me. The silence pounded in my skull, digging into any comfort I had before. Moments passed as I recalled what I had originally planned to write, and it started to flood my memory once again.