Wild Emotions

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         "Why is the queen so infuriating?" I growl.

        I had just met with the new seamstress who is supposed to be the 'best designer in the kingdom', but she seemed more frantic than professional. Queen Min tried her hardest to critique every thing the lady did, as she always does. 

          "Don't let that women bother you, she is just troubled," The emperor spoke as he scans through papers that littered his desk. 

          "Troubled? She is outrageous." I finally sat down in the cushion seat cornering Yoongi' s large desk. This was the first time I had ever come into his work room when was stationed in one of the official buildings. He had told me that most of his work has been dealt with in the accompany of the officials, but because of the preparations for the festival, he has kept to himself.

          "She comes from a damaged background, being apart of the royal family has just made her situation worsen," he explains.

          "Are you defending her actions and speech?"

          "Well, no... but I will not put her down ether." 

          My heart skipped a beat. I had forgotten we were talking about a woman who he had been madly in love with. Those feelings for one another haven't completely faded.

          "Have it your way," I mutter, turning away from him. I can see the emperor look up from his work towards me, but I dare not catch his eye. 

          The time we stayed in silence left me to wonder. Where did the queen come from? Her family has never been spoken of, why must it stay a whisper?

        "The marriage happened when I was fifteenth. She was from the Min clan, where both my mother and grandmother had been born from. Her past remains a mystery to me, though. She seems isolated from the world, not showing the normal characteristics of a queen." Yoongi rested his head in his palms as he recites his memories. The way his eyes glazed over made me believe my instincts, his first love was something he remembered fondly and I was afraid I wasn't a match for it.

        My eyes are glued to the ground. He wants me to feel remorse, but no such emotion crosses my mind. I stand up from my chair and walk towards the door, "I'll be going now, you can work in peace."

        "That is fine, I suppose," His sad words make me leave his presence quicker. How could he ever love such a crude women. I wonder if it would make me happy if Taewongun's plan succeeds. Or will I forever feel a ping of dread when I look into the mirror.

        I retreated pathetically back to my room in a dark sulk. But I still kept my promise to myself and refused to let my emotions take over and cry. Instead I ask for lavender tea but immediately have to send it back to the kitchen because of the stench. This was unusual on my part because I typically love lavender tea and the staff knew that very well. Lately I hadn't been feeling so well and my emotions were wildly all over the place. Nausea was at the pit of my stomach constantly and I was late for my monthly bleeding. I wasn't such a fool to not understand my symptoms. I was just afraid of confronting the truth and reality. I didn't want to raise my hopes.

        "My lady, I called the doctor to check your symptoms," my maid informed me, immediately snapping me out of my daze of thought.

        "What? Why would you do such a thing?" I ask, the panic clear and rising up my throat. The maid just looks down as the royal doctor waltzes in.

        "I do believe it is my job to help the Emperor in any way that I can, My Lady, and I'm frankly surprised that I haven't been called before if I dare inquire," speaks the doctor. His bold tone just adds to agitated mood I was in. I know he didn't mean to be crude but the fear I felt was making me want to be extra defensive. 

       

        "Now please, let me see your hand?" he asks as I'm forced to sit across from him. I defy his command, testing my limits as I just clench my eyes shut.

        He sighs deeply, "I know you must be afraid but now is not the time to be closed off. We need to take certain precautions if it is indeed true you carry the son of the king. Do you know what this will mean? How your life will change for the better if you birth the future of this kingdom?"

        I don't reply but though his questions of further ambitious actions do gnaw at my skin, I depict my train of thought towards the safety of my child. No the child of Yoongi and I. I stretch my shaking wrist towards the doctor and he smiles in content. He raises two fingers to my blue, pulsing veins and presses gently into them. For what seems like hours, he continues on doing this until he pulls his fingers away. His expression is hard to decipher causing for the uncertainty to race my heart out of control.

          "I'm able to hear more than your heartbeat, congratulations Lady Hye-Rin, you've successfully served the king."

        

        I'm breathless for a second then happy beyond relief the next. Finally I wouldn't be so lonely in this cold kingdom.

          "She's pregnant?"

         My smile diminishes as I hear Yoongi's voice at the doorway and realize that he's standing there and has been doing so enough to hear the news. His face is utterly shocked. I'm afraid on how he's going to react. Is he going to be as happy as I am? But my worries are in vain when a smile breaks out on his face. I'm so relieved I could almost cry. Almost.

          "Yes Your Majesty, she is indeed pregnant."

          I hear the wonderful news again and place my shaking hands on my still flat stomach. Yoongi strides over quickly and places his hands over mine.

An- You have waited long enough for Hye-Rin to become pregnant, though we hope nothing bad happened 😏. We don't give shout outs much but we recommend you read Playing With Fire by Wolf Childern, the author is a splendid writer and needs more love. It is a similar story about a queen and her soon to be husband Namjoon, but fate doesn't seem to be on their side, at least not yet. -Lori and Paige















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