The Royal Concubine (please read edited version)

Distraction

"You need to gain your strength back," the Emperor says as the maid hands him steaming bowl of porridge.  He takes the spoon and scoops a little bit into it. 

"Are you going to feed me Your Majesty?" I ask trying to lighten the mood and smile with my cracked lips. Gosh, I probably looked hideous, I didn't know how he could look at me. My attempt to be humorous was a failure, sadness hung in the air. He pushed some stray hairs away from my face, and also attempted to smile The worst part of it all was that, though we were both completely miserable and broken in the inside, we tried to smile through the grief. I couldn't help but feel guilty, after all wasn't it my fault that I had lost our child?

"Yes, I'll take care of you Mo Hye-Rin" he dead set looked me in the eye when he said this and I knew it was a vow that he was going to keep. I opened my lips when he placed the warm spoon by them and swallowed the soup, not bothering to taste it. Spoonful by spoonful he diligently fed me until the bowl was completely empty. I laid back into the pillow, my stomach was full but my womb lay empty.

"Do you want to rest now?" he asks and cups my face gently. I lock me eyes into his beautiful ones and sigh. I could hold it in no longer. Tears pooled my eyes and I tried to turn my face to hide them. But his hold was persistent and he wouldn't let me move. I couldn't stop at this point and I shook with remorse as tears fell down my cheeks. Through my watery view I saw him look at me, pain that reflected mine. No words were spoken as he scooped me into his embrace and he rocked me back and forth. He laid his head on top of mine and breathed heavily into my hair. I hugged him harder when I saw his tears run down my hair.

We stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other's support, we were our own lifelines. I don't know at what point we fell asleep but later I awoke in his arms. He had been staring at me, I could feel it. When I  fluttered my eyes open, he was there looking back.

"How are you feeling Hye-Rin?" he asks earnestly with a concerned frown.

"Better"

I was honest about my answer, I did feel better than before. But I almost couldn't look at him because of how ashamed I was with myself. I should've noticed earlier that I was pregnant and protected myself more in order to protect the unborn heir. Now I would have to live a lifetime with this loss.

I knew what I had to do now. I didn't have anything to face the emperor with. But I would have to make him proud and give him another reason to represent his country. I started my action plan and courageously brought my lips to his. He was shocked for a second and then I felt him kiss back. Oxygen didn't seem to be matter, all I wanted to do is be with him as one. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine.

"Hye-Rin, you're hurt right now, we can't-" he started to say in a raspy tone.

I was disobedient and cut him off by continuing to kiss him. His eyes were begging for a distraction and I was going to give him one.

"Please" I mumbled into his red swollen lips.

He must've seen how I felt in my eyes so he cursed under his breath and kissed me. I tousled his dark locks with my shaking hands. He brought me closer.

"Tell me if you want to stop" he demands as I fumble with his tunic. I had won with reason this time.

I nod but I know in my heart that I wouldn't tell him to stop no matter the pain. Throughout the rest of our emotional night we became a distraction of the current events. He held me so delicately like he knew I would break if he didn't do so. I was content though I felt his brooding thought of disapproval with our decision. 

By the next day we function on more of a normal scale. After we get dressed with appropriate day outifits, we toured the grounds. 

"Careful." he warns as I waddle down the steps. I refused his request to carry me, I needed to be stronger for myself.

Maids scurried to serve us our hearty breakfast. "Eat well." the Emperor advised as platter upon platter was served to us. I nodded as he shared his food to my plate directly and I couldn't help but blush. He really was taking care of me. 

I pleaded to him that we should enjoy the forest scenery before we had to go back. 

"I don't think you're well enough to walk so much" he argued. 

"Your Majesty, I think we both know how much stronger I am and I swear to ask for help if I feel discomfort," I say. 

He rubs my hand with his thumb, his shoulders sighing in defeat. I try not to seem overjoyed so I just  gave a small grin.

Guard Taehyng and Captain guard Jimin await us in the entrance of the cottage. They bow respectfully before Taehyng tells me, "We're glad to see your health improved, we thank the heavens for that."

I don't know how to reply to such a meaningful blessing so I say, "Thank you."

They bow and smile before standing guard as the Empeor and I walk through the woods. Emperor Min holds his arm out and I happily take it. I lean on him and enjoy seeing the gorgeous landscape. It has been so long since I've seen nature like this. Back when I was in my ahjussi and ajhummas house, I was able to sneak out to wander the trials in the green woods. I couldn't at the palace but I enjoyed being with the emperor now as we walk the grounds. 

We don't speak much but I can feel his emotions through our bond. I know he thinks that what we did was reckless but I wanted to be with him. Secretly I yearned to be pregnant again. I didn't want to be a disappointment even though I knew Min Yoongi wouldn't call me that. 

I didn't know what to say so I just leaned into him more and took in his scent into my memory as we trailed in the woods and wild gardens. 

Hey our loyal, amazing readers!! This week I wrote a short chapter but it's one that allow for a different side of Hye Rin show so I didn't think it needed to be longer. Anyways it's my favorite idiot's birthday (Paige's)!! Children grow so fast *wipes tears* 

-Lorett