felt like this song was good for the chapter idk
Wednesday morning
Nancy's POV
I couldn't believe what I did yesterday.
Sure, Jonathan was nice, and I liked him that way, but I already had no friends. What with the whole Steve thing, and Billy trying to kill Jonathan, and then me and Jonathan dating suddenly...
The rumors would be terrible. I would be worse than a slut.
I would have to tell him I can't.
I slung my book bag over my shoulder and went in the living room. "Bye, Mom!" I called.
"Nancy, wait one second." I turned. Mom looked upset, hanging up the phone. "Mrs. Holland was cleaning out Barbara's room yesterday. And she found her journal. Maybe... maybe you should go over there. Mrs. Holland said it was important for you to see something."
"But school..." I said, already all for this idea.
"School can be missed for a few hours," Mom said dismissively. I never thought she would ever say that sentence. "I'll bring you."
***
Mrs. Holland was waiting for me. Just seeing the house made me want to cry, and her beaten, desolate expression made it worse. "Nancy, dear..." Her expression tightened, and she handed me a leather bound book. "Just go ahead in B...Bar..." She choked up. "Her room."
I nodded, wanting to cry myself. What was this book?
I opened to the first page, sitting on Barb's old bed. I tried not to look at her room, or I'd start bawling.
Diary of Barbara Holland. Don't read!
My chest tightened. She had a diary? I opened to a bookmarked page. Mrs. Holland must have wanted me to read something...
August 19, 1983
Dear Diary,
Something's wrong with me. Today when I saw Nancy at the pool, the strangest feeling stirred deep inside me. I wanted her. And that scares me.
A tear splashed down on the words, and my vision blurred. This couldn't be true. What? I kept reading.
Do I like girls and I never realized it? That would explain why I'd never wanted to do the things she fantasizes about constantly, like sex and stuff.
I closed the journal abruptly, but opened it again a moment later. I had to see if it was true. I flipped ahead to the last entry.
November 6, 1983
Dear Diary,
There's a party that Nancy wants to go to tonight at Steve's house. I don't want to go. It's so obvious he wants to screw her. But she insists. And I could never say no to her. Her eyes always dance with excitement when something like this comes up. It's so adorable.
I'm going to go, but I won't let her do anything with that boy. It hurts enough for her to like someone else- especially a guy- but she's normal. I'm not.
I hate myself for loving Nancy Wheeler. I really do. But I can't help it anymore. I have to tell her how I feel at some point.
It ended there, and I immediately started to sob. Barb had loved me. She had wanted to tell me. How had I been so stupid? I hadn't loved her like that, but she was like my sister. We grew up together. And this is something I can't just push away.
GUYS I don't know if this is weird or not but I think it makes sense for Barb to love Nancy! I don't know ahhhhhh someone comment and tell me if this story is going downhill
But it always seems like the story is
Jonathan: ily nancy
Steve: im mean ima be mean to nancy OH WAIT COME BACK NANCE ILY
Then I'm just sitting here like NANCY MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND AND PICK ONE OF THEM AND IF YOU DONT THEN PICK BARB
YOU ARE READING
you are not alone → stranger things
Fanfiction**DISCLAIMER: i wrote this in like middle school before season two came out & it's pretty cringy but i'm leaving it published bc it has 20k reads😏 ❝ This is not yours to fix alone. You act like you're all alone out there in the world, but you're no...
