you are not alone → stranger things

xxii. tears

Thursday noon
Steve's POV

I missed Nancy.

She had been strangely absent from school for a while since she broke up with me.

It hurt to not be dating her. I could see why she had dumped me, though. I wasn't mad at her... just myself. How could I have been such an asshole?

I had been alone for a day, but it was torture. People tripping me up in the halls, taunting me. "You can't even keep one friend," they mocked. "Get up, pretty boy! Fight me!" The last few days I had sat alone at lunch. But I was done with that.

I ran across the parking lot to my car, the keys jangling in my hand. It was nicely quiet out here, and I almost felt better.

Almost.

I was cutting school for the rest of the day. Who cares? I needed to see Nancy. I needed to make sure she was okay. But if she was with Jonathan, she probably was.

I winced as the memory cut across my vision. Jonathan had been there before me, shoving that newbie away from Nance. They obviously had something that Nancy and I had never had. And that hurt more than any punch, any slap.

I was at her house in almost no time at all and immediately clambered up onto the roof. I almost fell twice, and the second time my foot banged on the roof so hard it shook. Luckily, it didn't seem like anyone besides Nancy was home.

I peered into the window, and there she was, hanging something on her bulletin board. I raised my hand to knock on the window-

But froze.

Nancy had turned around, giving me a full view of her tearstained face. She clutched pictures in her hand, and she couldn't seem to stop looking at them. She slumped onto her bed and began to sob, never taking her eyes from the pictures.

I had never seen her like this. What could make her cry with such fervor? I squinted hard at the pictures, but couldn't make out much. So I knocked on the window, hating myself for bothering her but wanting to at the same time.

She looked up, and for a moment her expression was blank. Then recognition flitted across her face, and she was up in a flash, quickly wiping the wetness from her face. She unlocked the window and opened it. "What do you want?" she asked stiffly.

I could clearly see the pain in her eyes that she had shoved deep inside her the moment she saw me. "Nance, what happened?" I gently reached out and touched her face. She didn't pull away, and a desperation overtook her features. She wordlessly stepped aside, and I climbed through the window.

"Nothing happened. I just... found something out about Barb," she said carefully, trying not to slip. She obviously didn't trust me.

I looked at the ground, filled with shame I had never felt before. "Listen, I know this is probably the worst time possible to say it, but Nancy, I am so sorry. I know," I added, seeing her look of disbelief, "I'm a major asshole. I'm surprised you even let me talk to you. But I've been worried about you. The past few days, you've been just... gone. And Jonathan and I seem to be the only people who care." A lump in my throat formed at the look in her eye. "Yeah, uh, Jonathan and I are okay now, I guess. And if you want to date him, by the way, I'm totally cool with-"

"I can't," she breathed, near tears again. "I can't date him, Steve. I can't date anyone anymore." And with that, she dissolved into sobs that heartbreakingly wracked her whole body, and all I could do was watch and try to make her feel better when I didn't even know what was wrong.

Later, as I was walking back to my car, I couldn't help but turn back around and look at her window. She was looking too.

fml I hate this ending but I have such writer's block you guys like I can't even tell you how bad it is and it sucks so hard because I have ideas of what I want to do but I have no idea how to say it!! Ugh