Ash's POV
I started to walk home with my head hung low. I wanted to have the part of Melissa. But, why does it mean so much to me? I'm still going to be in the play, just as a different character. Then why does this Melissa part mean so much to me? Is it because.... Johnny is Danny? To be completely honest with myself, I did have a crush on Johnny. He's been so nice to me, cheered me up in my saddest of times, he even used himself to protect me when the old Moon Theater crumbled. I felt safe in his embrace, I feel warmth and joy, something Lance has never succeeded to give me. I'm not mad at Meena or Buster, I'm just really really dissapointed. And sort of jealous thinking that Meena gets to kiss Johnny at the end. Actually, when Buster said that Meena has the part of Melissa, I saw that Meena looked mortified, and the others were trying their hardest to contain their mirth, all except for Johnny who had the same mortified expression as Meena. Ugh, teenage life is hard. You have to deal with your feelings and get heartbroken at the end. Stupid Lance, that cheater. Then, my mind reminded to what Buster had said; 'Your voice is very edged and you are basically quite the tomboy.' Was that it? Was that why no guy ever likes me or just cheats on me in the end? Because I act like a boy? See, when I was in my early days of high school I had a crush on all the bad boys. A few times I had the courage to tell them how I feel about them, just to be rejected. That went on and on until I met Lance. In fact, he was the one who told me he loved me. So our relationship built up from there. Until now that is. He cheated on me with Becky... A far more prettier and feminine girl than me. Is that it? Boys only like feminine girls who wear high heels, wear perfume, and look so vulnerable, so innocent? What about those who stand up for themselves, play sports and are confident about the way they look instead of wearing so much makeup to hide their insecurities? The ones like me? I wear makeup, I do, but to highlight my features. For example, I hardly wear eye shadow at all, if I do, it's either a color that is very similar to my skin tone or for some big event. I hardly wear lipstick too. Sometimes I just put on lip gloss to highlight my lips. Do boys only care about how you look and not care about your personality at all? Sigh... Love can be so hard sometimes....
