POISE//AMBW

8.

I tapped my foot impatiently. Irritation circulated through my veins, and I wanted nothing more to do than kill her. I threw my phone onto the couch, now standing up pacing on the wooden flooring. It's been hours since I've last seen my wife. I recieved no calls from her telling me of her location. Hanuel wasn't much help either.

"Where would she go though?" I pondered aloud, looking outside the window past the curtains. A deep blue stained the glass dimming the lights inside the house.

Hanuel continued to look at the mess that was in his presence.

Fear slithered up my skin, making me shiver in reassurance only to fail repeatedly. I ran my fingers through my black hair, closing my eyes and took deep breaths. Hanuel mumbled to himself, getting up from his seat on the couch and walked to his room. I cocked my head to his sudden actions and watched his small figure disappear in the hallway. He came back swallowed by his art supplies.

"Hanuel, now is not the time," I barked at him. He dropped the supplies at my feet like a dog putting a tennis back into the hands of it's owner to play fetch. He tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, testing me. I frowned at my harsh words that I had said to him unintentionally. He stood there stiffly, awaiting my okay.

"Hanuel, we have to find your mommy, okay? We can paint and draw and color later. Alright?" I said in a much calmer voice, stooping down to look into his eyes. The two year old's shoulders dipped lowly.

"Alright." He said disappointingly,  picking up his things and walked out of the room.

I tore my phone from the couch, going through my contacts until I reached Mr. Park's. Ringing waved in the air as my tapping created a steady beat. He picked up.

"Hello?" His voice was raspy and deep like he had just woken up.

"Have you heard anything from Nala? I haven't seen her all day. She left Hanuel all by himself for hours and he says that she just disappeared out of nowhere. We've been looking for her all day." I spilled to him. My heart was racing in hopes to find her. It wasn't like her to do such a thing. She would have at least left a note, but this time, she didn't.

There was a long moment before I heard any answer from him.

"No, I haven't seen her. Sorry Namjoon, but I got no clue. Where you think she went?" Mr. Park asked me.

"No. I have no idea where'd she go. This is so unlike her!" I massaged my temples in a circular motion trying to come up with a solution. It was a fruitless attempt. I sighed loudly.

"Well, it is Wednesday. Have you considered that, Namjoon?" He was on to something. Yes, it was Wednesday and that meant endless alcohol and young spirits roaming the streets. Surely, she wouldn't be amongst them. Right?

"I totally forgot. I don't know which bar she would go to, though. I'll figure it out." I tapped my foot, pondering the thousands of bars that were open in Korea as of right now.

A long yawn was heard escaping the mouth of Mr. Park.

"Sorry I couldn't be much help. I hope you find her soon. Girl like her don't need to be roaming these streets." He comforted me. If he were here, he would be patting my back and giving me a pathetic smile.

"It's okay. It isn't your fault. I'll call you once I find her, okay? And if I don't," I paused cringing at the thought," let's just pray that that doesn't happen." We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone.

My face swung lowly in defeat. Pictures swarmed me causing me to get in a daze. Her dark skin, her age-defying face, her laugh, her singing, her cooking, her grace, her poise, is gone. I chuckled at my discernment. I stayed up many nights thinking about this woman I did not know. I wrote letters to her everyday, wishing that I could meet her sooner. I prayed through troubling times to make sure that she knew she was loved, and that I would love her for a million years and more without her knowledge. To think that I had went out of my way, only to be left with nothingness like I had begun.

I bit my lip harshly. Warm tears splashed and danced on my face. I wiped them away with guilt. There had to be something that I could do to find her, but I've done so much searching already. She was no where to be found.

I admired the unmarked ceiling, giving half heart filled promises to God. I let out a long breath I hadn't noticed I held in. I closed my eyes sinking into nullity.

The boy covered his ears in attempt to cease the immense pounding on his door. He screamed at the voices, telling them to stop. Stop this pain. Stop this hatred. Stop this feeling. Yet they continued to pound, the door shaking and the door knob jiggling harder and harder.

"No! Please!" He begged them, scurrying up to the farthest wall away from the door. But the yelling and pounding did not stop. They promised to kill him, to end his life without mercy. They should have never had him to begin with. Why can't you be like every other teenager, they wailed. Why are you so fucked up, they moaned.

Ear piercing screeches came from the door, claws left as evidence of his every day horrors. He froze up, the noises slowly easing into silence. His heartbeat could be heard through the thin walls. He uncovered his ears and opened his eyes reluctantly.

He balanced his unhealthy weight on both feet, moving to his dirty, bed bug pervaded sleeping mattress. That's all he had. They took everything else from him. He got settled in the tattered remnants of his bed, turning his back on the door.

A long bang shot through his ears causing him to jump. Black figures with firy eyes captured him into further darkness. Screams echoed.

I jumped up startled at the sound of a familiar bang, my body jolting up from my retrospection. A dark figured swayed inside, my eyes wide open. I forced myself to get up from the couch to go see who it was. The figure shaked their maggy hair out, the smell of coconut gusting in the air.

"Nala?" The figure stood a few metres away from me, now immobile. I could not see their eyes. The tall figure stood there, a longing silence separating us. White teeth was shown.

"Dimples." She let out in a huff.

I blew out the air that I held in without realizing and strode towards her. Concern and anger now flashed upon my face.

"Where have you been?" My hands on my hip, I frowned at the weak girl in front of me. She showed no sign of guilt.

"Places, Namjoon. Places." She placed her frail hands on my hard chest, moving a finger up and down lightly.

"Did you even think of your son, Nala? How can you be so irresponsible?" I barked at her yet she showed no signs of comprehension. The powerful scent of alcohol punched my nose making me cringe with every opening of her mouth.

"I'm sorry." She drunkenly stated half heartedly. Nala fell forwards in my arms. Her dilated eyes met mine, and she scoped my lips in wonderment.

"What about your son, Nala?" I asked her, my anger depleting into none.

"It's Wednesday." Nala smiled wryly. Indeed, it was Wednesday.

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