Rogue One- Alternate Ending

Chapter 11

~Jyn~

My mind wanders that night as we prepare to scout the south east side of Skarif. It part of the area that wasn't destroyed in the death star blast so at least it won't all be rubble.

I subconsciously fiddle with my Khyber crystal necklace, running my fingers over the unyielding stone. I hate being alone.

For someone who experiences it a lot, I cannot stand the silence, my own nightmares the only thing keeping me company.

My cell mate on Wobani did nothing but taunt me, I'd rather that than this though; Cassian is collecting firewood, the first time we've been apart at all in days.

My hand rests on the handle of my blaster as I walk slowly into the small washroom this ship houses. Without even realising I'm doing it, I raise the gun to my head.

I can't help thinking it would be so much easier if I was dead. The empire and all this pain couldn't touch me. I could stop fighting.

The mirror reflects my face, the barrel of the gun pressing into my temple with my own hand firm on the trigger. Could I pull it?

I sweep my braided hair out the way of the barrel, I could do this, put an end to the depression and the fear. It's tempting, it really is- there is only one person I would miss...

At that thought, an image of Cassian fills my mind; standing alone in black, staring at me through my own eyes. He looks grief stricken haunted and most of all lonely.

I lower the gun.

A breath I didn't know I was holding is released through my mouth, the realisation of what I nearly did, the image of how this could have turned out strikes me hard.

This life has destroyed me, but I can be remade. I prize myself on my stubbornness and today I might have to refuse myself rather than the empire when it comes to my will.

Shaking slightly, I lower my blaster into its holster and walk back into the main chamber of the ship.

Cassian walks in with a pile of Palm wood in his arms and lowers it to the ground. "I got fire wood-"

He's cut off by me throwing my arms around him. Slowly, his arms come around my torsos as he hugs me and I bury my face in his shoulder.

"For gods sake don't ever leave me," I say into his chest.

"What's the matter?" He asks, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Nothing," I lie and tighten my arms around his waist. I feel a tear leak from my eyes as I curl my fingers into Cassian's shirt.

"Tell me," he says, slipping hands on my shoulders and facing me.

"Do you ever want to... give up?" I ask.

"Jyn-" Cassian says understanding what I mean.

He just hugs me tighter and kisses my forehead lightly.

"We should go in the morning tomorrow, I want to investigate the rest of this God forsaken planet earlier rather than later," I say, breaking away from Cassian.

We decide to go on foot, two humans are much less likely to attract attention than a rebel ship if there is another Empire settlement over a ridge of green hills we'll have to trek.

After starting a small fire out side on the sand we sit and have a small meal before the moon is fully up. It reflect prettily across the water, casting rippling shadows on the beaches.

Once we've eaten enough, I lie back on the sand and search the sky for the spherical nightmare of the death star. I can't see its huge metal mass which means the battle station is terrorising another planet.