Childhood Love

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»» Carson

My feet slap against the tile floor as I pass by the church gym. I glance through the transparent glass, seeing a few boys playing with a basketball, shooting hoops. They got here early probably because their parents teach a class, so they decided to pass time by throwing the ball into the basket.

One of them laughs when they miss the hoop and is tackled by their bother or friend, I can't tell. I smile when this happens because it reminds me of Toby and I in a way, but then my chest flutters with hurt. Mae and I used to have fun like that. I'd do something beyond stupid and she'd just laugh and laugh like it was the last laugh she'll ever giggle. She was adorable when it happened, and when I turned to her, she'd blush a bright red and pretend to talk to Christina or Madison, even though I knew she wasn't. She was adorable when she'd try to hide her blush, I can still imagine her doing it.

"Am I making you blush?" I tease her, nudging her shoulder slightly, tingles slipping up my arm where I touched her.

"Oh - um . . . me?! No, no, no, I'm just -" She squeaks, her face redding quicker.

"You're cute when you blush." I bluntly say without thinking.

"Um . . . thanks, I don't think so, but um . . . okay." She rambles, her cheeks flaming now.

"Oh Mae." I laugh and she then gives me a death stare, and instantly we were back to bantering and playing with the ball, debating who is better.

"Hello?! Um HELLO?!" Toby shouts, ramming his fist into my shoulder.

I break my gaze at the gym and stare at Toby's face. He looks like he rolled out of bed, the casual gray button up, jeans, and his boat shoes (I think that's what they're called). His hair is just a ball of fluff stuffed on top of his head, it's flying in every direction and I'm pretty positive Christina will scream at him for being a mess, but I don't care, not my girlfriend, not my problem. I'll just have to make sure that I'm at least ten feet away from Christina Wilson's wrath of doom.

"Sup Toby, what's up?" I ask stupidly.

"Dude, I called your name like five times before I started punching you, what's up with YOU?" He raises an eyebrow and I dart my eyes away from his.

I begin to walk to the worship area because I'm playing the guitar and need to be at rehearsal in five minutes, I didn't realize I was staring at those boys for so long.

Toby - being smart for once - chases me and keeps yelling the question. I ignore everything he says and keep walking up the stairs to the second floor. My heart speeding up, he CANNOT know about Mae, it would only tempt him to nag me about it, and that hurts a boys cred.

"YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT MAE, WEREN'T YOU?!" He gasps, causing me to stop before opening the door leading out of the stairwell.

I swiftly spin around on my heel and glare at him, he should know better than to comment on her.

"And why would I be thinking about her?!" I yell, steam blowing off of me, and I don't know why I'm so mad.

"Because you two screwed everything up and all you've ever done is beat yourself up for it. Now you're about to walk through those doors," he stabs his finger at the door I was about to walk through, "and face the girl you haven't bothered to make up with for the pass eight, nine years!"

I feel my body almost collapse when he explains everything, it's always been deep inside of me, but to hear it aloud - it's a whole new level of pain.