city lights ❁ Jacob sartorius

8

8: Lily

I felt a strange feeling since Vi and I's conversation over the phone; I'm not sure if it was me, who made her cry, and it had me worried. But, over that, I had been thinking nonstop about Brandon, trying to plan out a conversation, and where we would meet, and I how I would talk to him...

Was I...crushing?

It felt so strange, I mean, I had felt this way about Jacob, but it felt different. Like I felt something was actually going to happen.

What was wrong with me?

I never really understood why girls would die when he complimented her hair, or when he texted first. Or whenever he just greeted them, and whenever they touched elbows in class.

But now, I realized. I realized the reason why they would gush over their texts and save all their Snapchat messages. It was a sort of fluttery feeling in your stomach, like it was doing flips. It made you tingle from your toes, all the up to your cheeks.

I had that feeling when I got up in the morning; I was eager and energetic as ever. I had a strange need to look the best I could, spending more time on my appearance than usual. I didn't have a very formal closet; it was more laid back, and consisted of a lot of beanies and sweatshirts.

After spending fifteen minutes (ten minutes longer than usual) on picking my outfit, I hopped down the stairs.

"Morning, Mom!" I chirped to my mom, who was already in her work clothes and sipping a mug of coffee.

"Wow, you're happy today." She frowned, picking up her bags and keys. "What have you done with my Lily?"

"Nothing, she's right here!" I sang, picking up my backpack.

"Okay, Honey. Whatever you say." She shook her head before setting her finished coffee in the sink. "Do want me to drive you to school?"

I shook my head. "No, too much traffic. I can walk there and get breakfast at Starbucks."

"Okay, bye Honey. Love you!" She called as I rushed out the door.

"Love you too." I muttered to the door after it had been locked.

I happily skipped to the Starbucks, but as soon as I entered it, my happiness drained out of me and I was hit with nostalgia instead.

It was where Jacob and I met.

I shouldn't make a huge deal out of it. He was now erased out of my life and that was that.

So why did I feel so sad about it?

I waited patiently in line, scrolling through my phone. Taking them out of my jeans pocket and untangling them, I took out my earbuds and plugged them into my ears. I tapped on Spotify, and began to play my playlist; playing the most sad song I could find.

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one, good one
Tell me that you'll be the good one, good one
Baby, I just need one good one to stay

I moved my lips to the lyrics, understanding them all. I shook my head, not wanting the tears to fall as I turned my phone back on. Bored and filled with heartache, I checked my Snapchat, as it usually made me feel better. Instead, I was hit with Sierra's story. I flipped through it, bored as ever; Pictures of her with her daily dog-face filter, her morning Starbucks, her new fake nails, good morning picture, and...her and Jacob.

How did I not see this coming?

It was the cliche, stereotypical, couple dog-face filter picture that was way overused. I usually ignored things like this; they were never important to me. However, I had never seen a picture that made me feel so many feelings at the same time; anger, jealousy, sadness, but most of all, regret.

My eyes flew to the caption.

'Us 😍💗", the caption read. Tears began to sting my eyes and one single on fell down my cheeks.

"Uh, M'am?" I heard a meek, timid girl's voice speak. "There's people waiting for you."

I was already in the front of the line, probably many angry and frustrated people behind me. I didn't bother to look back. I ordered my coffee and a cinnamon coffee cake, immediately took it when it was done, and rushed out the door.

That was when I let the tears fall down my cheeks. Here in New York City, under the city lights, no one could ever notice you; whether you were smiling or crying.

My phone buzzed.

Snapchat from Sierra Carling

Again, the cliche, stereotypical flower crowned couple, but this time, kissing.

"He's my everything 😘💘"

I took a wild guess and thought the snap was only sent to me, gloating and rubbing it in my face, as if it already wasn't all up in there.

I took one look at the caption, translating it to:

"Sorry, loser, but I won. 💁"