Ode to Rum

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O Rum, my dearest,

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O Rum, my dearest,

I call to you.

Your bitter embrace keeps me a-swinging, a-sailing, a-falling.

No woman in this blasted world holds a candle to you, O Rum

For you make love to me like no other. My senses may-


*hiccup*


Where was I?

Oh yes.

O Rum, you are the reason I wake up and seek new days on the shining seas

And who knows where we're even headed? And who cares where we've been?

As long as I've got you.

O Rum.


Sincerely Yours for all time,

Cpt. Jack Sparrow


P.S. Wait... Where has all the rum gone?

WHY IS THE RUM ALWAYS GONE?!


*hiccup*


Ah. That's why. 

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