Bleeding Hearts

Chapter 9

*Ryan's Point of View*

I absolutely know she didn't mean it that way but when she said we could both just sleep in the same bed I had a freak out moment. Just a second, but still. After Ashley and I had called each of our families and she went to go shower, her grandmother immediately asked me, "DID YA KISS HER YET?" Last time I had told her and asked for advice actually. I really liked her grandmother. "No of course not." I blushed. "Today, in the pit, almost... But no. But I'd really like to be her first. I want to be her first and her last. First kiss, last kiss, first love, only love, all of it. I want it all." I said. "On Friday she's going on a date. That won't be her first, but I am so afraid he's going to break her heart. He will, I'm sure of it and it will break her and I won't be able to stand it." I continued. She listened the whole time. "You need to tell her." She finally said after a long silence. "I can't do that. I have tried, but I can't. My throat gets tight and she just smiles at me and I can't. I'm afraid it will ruin our friendship and I just can't live without her." I said. "I understand." She said surprisingly. "Oh yes! I think I have a shirt that belonged to my husband that might fit you if you'd like it. I might have already given it away. Go look in the guest bedroom closet for a box labeled "give aways". It might be in there." She said. So I left for the guest bedroom. I opened the closet and found it bare except for a single box in the back. I went inside and saw that it wasn't it. I heard the door close. Confused I backed out of the closet accidentally hitting the doorknob. I turned around to face Ashley about to take he towel around her off. "Oh!" I said extremely surprised. Oops. "i-i was j-j-just l-looking for the... Yeah okay bye." I said embarrassed and quickly left the room. She didn't say anything. I bet she thinks I'm a pedophile now. Ugh. A few minutes later I got in the shower, changed, and found my shirt. After dinner we were all going to bed. Mrs. Giradello winked at me. Dang it. I hurried to the room. Ashley just looked confused, but not enough to ask. We got into the guest bedroom. Ashley went to the restroom and I began readying everything for sleep. I layed down on the bed and waited her to come back. "We don't have toothbrushes." She said. "Oh wait grandma has some spares in the guest closet." That's what that box was. "Just some necessities. Shampoo, extra blankets, toothbrushes." She handed me a toothbrush and some toothpaste. We quickly brushed our teeth and she splashed some water on her face. We went back to the room and I layed down again. It was about nine thirty. She layed down in front of me and pulled up the covers. Her feet automatically came together and wiggled. I smiled. They always do that before she starts to sleep. I learned this from all the sleepover's we've had together. This is the closest we've ever been though. I turned over on my side like she was

and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she looked so peaceful, even though she wasn't asleep yet. I couldn't help it. I put my arms around her and held her. She sighed and snuggled down into me. I felt like I could lie here forever to be honest. She quickly fell asleep and eventually I did too. Just before I did though, I whispered softly to her sleeping form. "I love you Ashley. Someday I'll tell you that." And I drifted off.