alive / joseph | ✔️

| f o u r |

15 minutes later, tyler is sitting next to me on the cushioned seat in the bay window.

"tyler again, i'm so sorry for waking you this late, i just really needed someone and you're the first person that came to my mind," i looked down. he put his hand on the small of my back and sympathetically smiled.

"it's ok, honestly. i told you that you could come to me if you ever needed anything, and you did. i'm proud of that..." he said quietly. i looked him in the eyes and smiled a bit. "so, what did you need?"

"i had a bad dream..." i said, looking down again. "well, is it still a dream if it's an event that's actually happened in the past?" i said, only confusing myself.

"yeah, it is," tyler said. i nodded and took a deep breath before continuing.

"about two years back, my mother killed herself...she jumped off the top of a building..." i wiped a stray tear that fell with the back of my hand. tyler was kind of a stranger, i didn't know whether or not i should tell him something this personal, but then i realized that he's had his own demons and he understands. he can help me.

"people would say that she only did it because she wanted to get away from the pathetic fuck that i called myself," my voice was shaky now, as i tried to keep it all in. "people would say that it would be better if i jumped off that building with her, or that the world would be a whole lot happier if i died..." i trailed off.

i felt tyler's hand tense up on my back, but i ignored it. "they would tell me to go kill myself, that i was too pathetic to deserve a place on this earth," i took a deep breath, "so i tried. i tried to kill myself,"

that was my breaking point. i let it all out. i put my face in my hands and my whole body was shaking. i felt tyler's hand leave my back and my put his hands around my own and pulled them away from my face. he looked me in the eyes and i saw that his eyes were threatening to let tears fall.

"reagan? can i see your scars?" he asked me in a soft voice. my eyes widened a bit.

"h-how did you k-know i had s-scars?" i managed to get out through my crying. he looked down at my hands in his.

"i noticed them earlier at the coffee shop, but i didn't want to say anything because i didn't know if you wanted me or josh to know about them..." he trailed off. i took another deep breath, and slowly turned my arms over, revealing my scars. tyler's breath hitched.

"oh reagan," he said as he let out a breath. "i'm so sorry you had to go through that," he looked me in the eyes again. i pulled my hands away to wipe off my tear-drenched face.

"tyler, you're songs, they helped me. they told me that life is important and that i should keep trying. they helped me so much," i breathed out. he smiled a bit.

"let me show you something..." he trailed off again. his hands went to hem of his shirt, and he slowly began to pull his shirt up to reveal his scar-covered torso. i gasped and began to tear up again. i put my hand up to my chest.

"tyler, i-i had no idea...i'm sorry you went through that as well, it really is horrible..." i said. tyler dropped his shirt down and nodded.

"my songs helped me too, they're why i'm still here today..." he spoke in a sad tone now. "i guess you know about blurryface, right?" he asked. i nodded.

"he still comes every now and then..." he trailed off. "but I've learned to just ignore him," i nodded again, understanding what he's telling me.

"well, i guess i should get going..." he said as he slowly stood up. "are you okay to sleep now?" he asked.

"i don't know, honestly. every night i have another dream like that, its not easy... could you stay?" i looked up at him.

he nodded. "where do you want me to sleep? i can sleep on the couch, or even the floor is perfectly fine-"

"you can sleep with me if you want..." i said casually as i climbed back into the comfort of the bed that i call my own.

he looked a bit taken back, but then nodded. "ok..." he said as he lied next to me. i scoffed a little.

"tyler, you can get under the covers, you doof," i chuckled softly. he chuckled too. "oh yeah..." he spoke before getting under the covers.

"and you don't have to lay on the very edge, i'm not gonna bite," i laughed. he smiled at me and scooted closer to where i could actually feel his body warmth radiating off of his skin. i smiled back at him and closed my eyes.

"tyler?" i called out softly.

"yeah?" he answered.

"thank you...for everything," i said before drifting off into a deep sleep.