Return to me

Part 7: I fall to pieces

Closing the door as Monica left the condo, Stevie closed her eyes and laid her hands against the door, taking in a deep breath.

"Lindsey, I don't know how to handle this..." turning around slowly, opening her eyes, wishing she could see him. "This is beyond any sort of reality for me," holding up her hands, remembering how he would lay his palms against hers. "Not being able to feel you or hear you, it's as if you are already gone," tears falling over the brims of her eyes. "The second I heard that you were in an accident - that you were in a coma, I fell to the ground, screaming! It felt as if my heart was taken right out of my chest," touching hers as she breathed heavily, "...that my own life had ended. It's now come to my knowledge that all of this selfishness, all this anger, all the crap that we have done through out the years - it means nothing to me now! I've taken you for granted, taken what we had for granted, now it's the end. We can either make our life together possible or let it slip away; which we have let our love and bond slip away to the point it may not return. Now I can't handle that, can't handle this being our only way to be together... Lindsey, I need so much more than this," holding up her hands again. "We have to try hard, the hardest we've ever tried! You must come back to me, Lindsey, I won't make it in this world with out you."

"I hate watching you like this, listening to you speak as if little hope - you mustn't, Stevie! You are the strongest woman that I know and while you like to pretend that you are little Ms. Independent, I now know that you are aching for our love now more than ever! There's so much that you deserve and so much that I have left to give..."  attempting to lay his palms with hers, "...so much that I've yet to receive. You're every bit the woman that I need and the woman I had chosen all those years ago over a simple harmony of, California dreaming. When I looked at you, when I heard your voice..."  letting out a sigh, "...that's when I knew that you were going to have my heart forever. So, don't give up on me baby; I am afraid and I am desperately trying to make my way back to you."

Taking her hands down and placing them back at her sides, Stevie smiled as if she was looking up in to Lindsey's eyes, leaning back in to the door while contemplating what to do. Maybe two people had to play this game? Maybe it took more than him to bring him back? It was just that even Monica didn't know what Lindsey had been speaking of, what a beneficial sacrament was. In all her years of being a Medium, that phrase never fell upon her ears.

"I'm tired of watching you fall apart, Stevie,"  whispered Lindsey, taking in all the features of her face. "I'm tired of knowing that you come home to a bed with out me - that I'm not there to dry those tears, kiss those lips, touch the delicate skin of your body... What I wouldn't give to touch you right now, to feel you respond as I make love with you beneath me..."  thinking back on their last encounter, how in sync and passionate they'd been. "I promise that I can bring us back to that special place, all of what has happened to me has shined light on parts of my life that had gone dark. With you in another world, with out the warmth of your touch or kiss, I've been spoiled all along - not knowing what I had right in front of me but you were so afraid to take me back."

Watching as Stevie walked right through him, not phased by his spirit in front of her, he was left in utter shock - not that he wasn't shocked about the situation already but he'd never witnessed anyone walking straight through him! He was as if a ghost in the fog or the fog himself, no matter or proof of his DNA at all, just a lost soul.

With out warning, Stevie began to sob, falling to her knees and shaking. Lindsey got down on his in front of her, wishing that he could assist, watching while she trembled significantly.

"I can't do this, Lindsey," holding herself, "...I can't fight this... I'm so scared - I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose you! Though you are most likely right here with me, this is not enough!" slamming her fists in to the floor. "I need to see you! Try, Lindsey, try! I have to see your face! I..." the sudden urge to head for the hospital. "I have got to hold you!" she stood up from the floor, slowly but surely, gripping to the back of the couch as she finally stood.

Stevie regained her composure then snatched her purse, leaving her condo in a hurry to make way to Karen's, she knocked shamelessly as the door flew open.

"Stevie?" Karen asked concerned.

"Take me to Lindsey, now!" with tears streaming from her face, her composure not gained afterall.

Karen did just that, grabbing her keys as she locked her condo, assisting Stevie to the elevator and out the doors towards the parking lot. They made their way to the hospital as Stevie couldn't get there fast enough, having Karen pull up to the doors to drop her off, scurrying inside and even racing passed the front desk.

"Ma'am! Ma'am, you can't go in there!" an elderly woman running the guest services claimed, calling for security as Stevie still ignored, needing Lindsey as when she got to his floor...

"Please - please let me see him! Please, I need to be near him!" begged Stevie as she was distraught, being held back by security.

"Hey, wait!" a familiar voice had Stevie turning her head. "It's okay, I know her!" the heart surgeon claimed, the same man from the other night, Morris Fitzgerald. "Really," placing his hands on the security officer, "...she knows a patient here," now resting his hands on Stevie's shoulders. He smiled down at her as she smiled back up at him.

"Dr. Fitzgerald, I'm sorry, she was not following protocol," said security.

"I'll make sure that she does, I promise, I'll take care of this."

Security left, Stevie thankful for Morris, turning to hug him as her emotions were so high from Lindsey. "Thank you, I just have to see him," crying in to his white coat.

"Now who were you trying to see? Stephanie, right?"

Stevie nodded, "Yes, and I'm here to see..." realizing that once she said Lindsey's name, he may recognize her. "Mr. Buckingham."

"Okay, let me get you through the doors okay?" taking his badge as he scanned it, the door unlocking then allowing her through, following her as she rushed to Lindsey's room. He watched as she took Lindsey's face, her's pressing against his, seeing the most beautiful gesture of love.

"I'm here," whispered Stevie, hands delicately touching his face, kissing the corner of his mouth. "I am right here... I had to feel you, had to see you breathe," hand on his chest. "I can't go on this way, Lindsey."

Morris almost felt jealous, his tad attraction to Stevie, clearing his throat to gain her attention as she lifted her head from Lindsey's shoulder.

"I really must get you a visitor's pass, Stephanie, you won't be able to wander with out it."

"Thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate you," bringing her attention back to Lindsey.

"You're very welcome, please, stay here while I retrieve that pass," Morris asked while turning, heading for the hospital lobby.

Lindsey's spirit stood next to Stevie, having witnessed everything that had gone on between her and Morris, sensing that she may have an attraction to him. How could he deal with another man courting her?

Returning with a visitor's pass, Morris handed it over to Stevie, her thanking him once more while placing it on to her blouse. "I wasn't thinking earlier, I am sorry if I caused trouble," she apologized.

"Hospitals are filled with emotion; they can either be a place of joy or a place of sorrow, depends on the scenario."

"Thank you so understanding, I could have really got myself in to trouble there."

"If it wasn't for me then you probably would have."

"Tell me, you remembered my name?"

"What was there not to remember about you? And he's a very lucky man."

"He's my friend," taking Lindsey's hand and squeezing it, "...but we go way back."

"He must be very special then."

"He is..."

"I, uh," rubbing the back of his head, "...would you have dinner? I mean, I would like to meet with you in the cafeteria."

Stevie smiled, it was absoltuely the least she could do.

"Of course, I'd love to."