HER

"You bring me the peace I need. I thank you..."

     "Hello, Olivia. How are you today"? I looked Mr.Parkson in the eyes.

"I'm okay. How are you"? He looked up from his notepad and sighed. "I'm okay too, Olivia". He looked back down at his notepad. I lied my cheek onto my hand and wondered what he could possibly be writing, as we have only said our hello's.

I shifted my elbows to my knees and rested my chin in my hands, impatient. "So.. has your mom been doing okay"?, He said as he put one leg over the other. "She's been okay, I guess". 

After my unnecessarily long therapy appointment, I went home. My mom was in the kitchen. I could hear the clanking of utensils and plates and bowls...  I couldn't stand it. 

As soon as I started to storm towards the door, Kayla stopped me. "Hey, don't do it okay? She'll be done in a few minutes". I took a deep breath and sat back down on my bed. Kayla was my imaginary friend. She's the reason why I have a therapist and the reason I couldn't go to school anymore. "Why don't you ever let me do anything that I want to do"? She sat next to me," Because you'll mess things up, silly". She's the one to talk. I looked at her with annoyance in my face. She flashed her usual cupcake smile that consists of thin lips and dimples. I rolled my eyes and lied down. I turned my back to her and just stared at the wall. 

I felt her put her hand on the side of my stomach, it was cold. I shoved her hand away as distinctly familiar memories flashed in my head.

"You like that"? 

...a velvet colored skirt

and off white shirt... his taste was like metal..

I'm screaming.

I woke with my hands on the side of my head and flipped over onto my back. I was breathing quite heavily and tried to calm myself down. I could see at the corner of my eye that Kayla was sitting on a chair, terrified. As I would be if I just saw someone have a panic attack. I turned and faced her. She ran to me, knelt down, and grabbed my face. She looked deep into my eyes for reassurance," Are you okay, Olivia"!? I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds then flashed them open. I nodded with a smile on my face and she sighed as she fell back. I usually smile so that she doesn't get too worried about me, although I'm always terrified after ever. single. one.

I rolled over onto my stomach and peeked my head over the edge of the bed. My arms flowed off the bed as she gripped both my hands tight and prayed for me. I was never the type of person to pray or be religious at all, but I liked it when she did it.

She soon released my hands and I rolled back over onto my back. 

"Why do you do that after every attack I have"? I looked up to the ceiling as she got up off the floor. "I pray for you, Olivia, because I worry for you. You never know what can happen during those attacks. I pray for your attacks to never worsen". I smiled as I closed my eyes,"You bring me the peace I need. I thank you for that, Kayla". She lied beside me. We lied there talking for a few hours, it seemed like at least. I soon heard my door open. 

"Hey honey, dinner is ready". I turned to face Kayla, and she was gone.