Spring Tide

Two

Eight o'clock. I looked at my watch and started pacing faster than usual towards the lecture hall. This was the first time that I arrived later than usual. Too early for college students but I've got an acceptable number of students in my class considering the schedule. 

"Dissociative Identity Disorder is one of the most controversial psychological diagnosis because even the experts in the field argue about its existence. However, it is also the most interesting and complex among all the disorders listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders. DID is characterized by disruption in the identity by two or more personality states and discontinuity in the sense of self as well as alterations in affect, behavior, memory, consciousness, and even sensory-motor functioning. Anyone here who's familiar with DID or have heard of it already?" I asked my students and some of them raised their hands. "It's not surprising to know that some of you are familiar with this. It has been portrayed a lot of times in pop culture. This is popularly and formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.

"I have seen a movie about it. The movie's called Split with James McAvoy as the lead." One of my students offered. "I was really intrigued by this, Professor Henderson. Have you seen the movie?" I was quite taken aback by hearing James' name inside the lecture hall. "Uh, yes. I've actually seen the movie." I replied. "So what do you think about it? I mean, James McAvoy's performance was over the top but I dunno. As a Psychologist, do you believe that DID truly exists?" I let the question sink in. 

"Personally, I believe that DID truly exists. The brain is a complex structure and as much as we want to fully understand its mechanisms, I think it's safe to say that we have yet to uncover everything about it. I think the movie depicted truths about the condition and James did a great job in taking the audience in the right places to have a glimpse of how individuals living with DID experience their lives. His ability to empathize is surreal that's why he managed to be truthful in his portrayal." 

"Now, we know who's your favorite actor, Professor Henderson." someone said. There was a giggle from some of the students and I felt myself blush. I turned to look at the projection screen.

"Anyway, to continue.. take note that DID is classified under Dissociative disorders in DSM-5."

After my class I went back to my clinic. Aside from being a therapist, I also manage a foundation and to support individuals with various psychological conditions. It's no easy task and lately, it has been experiencing financial difficulties so I've been trying to reach out to potential donors & looking for platforms to promote our advocacy.

I opened the door to my office. "Good afternoon Dr. Henderson." My assistant Riley greeted more enthusiastically than usual. "Good afternoon, Riley. You seem so.. cheerful than normal. Something special happening later tonight?" I winked. "Oh, Dr. Henderson. It's nothing like that." I sat on the couch while Riley handed me a paper. "Someone called and asked if you could be scheduled for an interview. It was for a TV show from Channel 5." I read the paper, "Did you ask what it is about?"

"The prod assistant said they want to talk about the specifics to you personally but she told me it's about your recent research. If you agree, I'll call them back." Riley sounded hopeful that I'll agree. I've turned down interviews but since I thought that it could help the center I asked Riley to call them back. She smiled. I went to my office and after a few minutes my phone rang.

I talked to a segment producer. She said I will be interviewed about the implications of my recent research concerning Positive Psychology. She gave me the specific details and schedule which will be the coming Thursday which gives me two days from now. 

Thursday came and despite the city traffic I managed to come on time in the studio. Someone ushered me to a waiting room. I sat and was informed that I will be scheduled towards the end of the show. After a while, I decided to go to the washroom. I was directed  outside the waiting room. As I was about to enter the ladies' room, I bumped into someone. 

"Sorry." we both said. I look up and his familiar face appeared in front of me. 

"You're here!" We both exclaimed. A nervous smile formed in my lips.
"Of course, you're here. You're an actor. I don't even know why I was surprised." I said.

"Eh, I have to promote my new movie that's why. How about you?" He asked.

"Well, I'm going to be interviewed about the study I did just recently..hmm.. yeah, that sounded boring." I said. He grinned. 

There was a moment of awkward silence after. Until someone called, "Mr. James McAvoy! You're up next." He turned to me and smiled. The kind of smile that makes someone's heart melt. "See you later." He said. I nodded and went to the waiting room.

I cannot believe what is happening. Was this some twisted joke played by the universe on me? How is it that he's in my city? in the same morning show? and at the same time I am in? Beads of sweat started to form at the back of my neck, and my palms, my vision blurred and suddenly, it felt difficult to breathe. I am fighting the urge to get up and leave the place.

I watch him being interviewed and I could not help myself from being glued to him. But I know I cannot face him again. I was thinking of reasons to bail out the last minute. I shook my head and calmed myself. 

"Dr. Carly Henderson, you're next." someone called to me.

I was ushered to my seat then after a commercial break I was on the spotlight. It was nerve-wracking. I am used to giving lectures but I found this experience extremely unsettling. I was trying very hard not to look nervous. I thought about my patients and what I really came for.

After my segment, I came back to the waiting room to get my things. I was surprised to see James inside. I tensed and he saw me standing at the door.
"You look so natural on screen." He said, smiling. I tried to act anything but nervous "Yeah, I was on the verge of fainting." He chuckled and I can't help but laugh too.
"You want to grab something to drink?" I looked at him and was unsure what to say. I see no point in agreeing to his invitation. I can't even look at him straight. But I also know that maybe if I agree, I'll find out the answers to my questions.
"Okay."