It's been a week without you, Josh. Damn it's been so hard. It seems that everything I've been doing and seeing reminded me of you. Even just sitting alone, I'd be reminded that I couldn't talk to you anymore, I couldn't listen to your soft voice as you told me about how much you hated the weather or how well you did the drums that day. It pains me, a lot. I'm sorry I couldn't hold you one last time. I'm sorry I couldn't kiss you one last time. Heck, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. I should have been there. I'm so guilty of what I should of done. You would have done it for me. The night we met, the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one. I will be with you again Josh I promise.
"Tyler, dinners ready."
I sighed deeply. I hadn't eaten properly since the funeral, and I could barely get out of bed most days, the heartache would cripple me.
"Im not hungry, thanks anyway." She was trying so hard. My mom doesn't realise how much Josh meant to me, no one does. I guess it's just another helpless soul to her.
I'd been having hallucinations of Josh every now and then. It felt real, he was lying next to me, his fluffy candy floss hair would lie softly on his forehead, his smile would radiate a mile away. I'd try to reach out to him but he'd dissappear like a ghost. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I can't be happy anymore without him, everything feels sinister and bleak.
I've been lying in this bed for 3 days, not turning over or getting up, I felt death-like. Incredibly death-like. As if I'm dead already.
I decided to stand up, as I did so, I saw that black mist appear again. It was taking my eyesight and closing in on my lungs.
Then it all went black.
