WARNING - THIS IS A SAD CHAPTER GET ICE CREAM IF NEEDED.
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The rain, pouring, making us all blind, making us all blurry, it was so gloomy. The day couldn't have been a little brighter... for Josh. He deserves light. He deserves it more than I do. The whole mood was grey and bleak, but with all of us in black suit and dresses, we didn't care. Our tears did most of the talking for the day.
"The burial will now begin."
I wiped the tear from my cheek and stood with Josh's family. Oh god Josh.
You look amazing in your black suit, red skinny tie, I picked it out for you. Your hair fluffier than ever. You would be so happy to see the family together, just not here to commemorate you. Come back Josh. I can't help myself, I can't help falling in love with you, the more I look at you, the more I think of all those memories we held, and I still hold on.
Together again, soon. I promise. My hand in yours. Wherever you are, I will be there with you. I promise.
If you can hear me Josh, I love you. You give me more happiness than I've ever known. I'm gonna miss you.
I closed my eyes and held on tightly to my mum. She was the only one who was helping me at the minute. I could barely look forward to anything, she kept me fed and alive.
It doesn't matter, I'm fading anyway. I'm fading, and Josh has faded from sight. From everyone's sight. I want my best friend back, God. Give me my best friend back. I can't do this alone. I can't live without him. I can't live without my soulmate.
"Tyler... Tyler we have to go now." My mum tugged me softly forward to walk arm in arm with me. It was so hard. Six men carried Josh in his coffin, a rope lowering him into his... His grave. I could barely stand to look at the coffin. I could feel my tears build back up again. I choked them back. I need to be strong. I need to fight for it.
Everyone began walking away, I couldn't move a step, I just stood there, watching over his grave. I needed to say goodbye. I needed to say I'm sorry I couldn't save him.
"I'll leave you for a while Tyler, I will meet you back at the Dun home..." She let me go, and walked away quickly. I had been holding back all my emotions until now. I had kept them secret, and silent.
I fell to my knees, and cried, for so long, I can't even remember. I closed my eyes and I could remember everything we had done so clearly. They seemed so recent but it wasn't, they were so... Distant from now. A broken record that kept playing over and over again, the memories didn't die along with Josh...
