Loving you (Book Two)

Loving you (Ch;1)

Jay's P.O.V

Upset, Angry  and mostly  hurt were  rushing through  my body,  today has  been  a horrible  day. I never  would of  thought Zendaya would get  pregnant. I never   would of  thought I  would have  to the  balls to  say "I  cant  do this  anymore".

Mostly I never thought I could say goodbye to her.

It rushed out of my mouth before I even thought about it. It was like word vomit, you know when you say something you didn't mean too. When you feel shitty and you can really describe what you're feeling so you rush out you're feelings.

I let my head hit against my phone. I swear I've been staring at it all day, trying to call her and explain everything.

Tell her how much I needed her to forgive me. Ask her if she could come back and start over with me. Ask her if she wanted to make a family and move in together. Then I knew it couldn't happen I wasn't fully committed to her.

I still saw Kass every now again, not that it was important.

I just needed a stress reliever and she was there. I felt like a total douche after everything and I told Kass I was deeply sorry.

Of course being the sweet and understanding girl she was. She forgave me and said we could be really good friends.

Letting a loud breath I slam my phone down.

Who knew I would be so hung over this girl. I wish I knew why she meant so much to me, why I would risk everything for her. But I knew she didn't feel the same not anymore. Not for a long time, after what I did.. I was unforgivable.

I knew I was, I was being a dick. A huge one at that, I should of told her everything was fine and we could work it out.

No, I couldn't I made things so much harder.

Hearing a knock on my door, I walk over to it. "Tommy, hey what can I do for you" I ask letting my long time best friend in.

"Ah, nothing Jay. Just stopping by heard you're friend was coming home today and wanted to meet her".

I cringe at the word friend.

Could I still call her a friend..

"I wouldn't say a friend" I say sadly walking him to my black leather couches. "Why would you say that" "Let's just say I fucked up big time".

A smirk lingers on his face, "Care to explain".

So I do, I pour my heart out and tell him everything that was on my mind. Down to Val and Kass. Even to my real problems with my parents but with each thing I said Zendaya make her way into the conversation.

"Look's like you got it bad" Tommy says leaning back in my chair, "I know, I fucked up.. bad". "Well look, I know you're thinking the worst and doubting yourself. Just remember that If she cared as much as you thought back then.. have you're phone ready".

I give him a funny look, "Have my phone ready?" "She is going to call you dummy" He says smacking my shoulder "Oh".

"See you later, the wife is calling". I smile at him and nod, he walks around me and too my door closing it softly.

I look around and let out a breath maybe I should call her.

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'That's all of it' I mentally think pulling my suitcase of the bed. Grabbing the room key and tugging on my jacket I step outside of the hotel room. I finally finished dance school, it was amazing. I had Val and he was so supportive.

He stood by me through everything, even my abortion. God, I felt like shit for months. Until I realized there are a lot of kids that need to be adopted and we decided when we were ready to go we would.

I never thought this would happen, I never thought I could come out of the dark days.

Val..

He was my true hero through this whole thing. Jay was far from my mind.. he was a little piece holding me back though. I think Val could, he saw a side of me one night that I hated.

I cried myself to sleep a lot.

After Val told me thing's and helped me.. I was fine and moving along with everything.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, I smiled to myself Val is calling!

I answer quickly "Val, hey ! I'm done packing and-" "It's not Val" His voice runs through my phone. I stay silent feeling tears start to well up in my eyes. "Look,-" but I end it quickly. Feeling my confidence die.

I put my phone back in my pocket quickly. 

I hear the door open and Val walks in with his bags. "Ready?" He questions grabbing my hand. "Yeah,ready" I say hoping my voice didn't sound off.

He smiles at me and walks us out.

The way to the airport was hell. There were cars everywhere and people looked at us like we were gods.

It was truly great, until that phone call came back into her head. Why would he call? I mean he made it pretty clear it was over for good.

Putting her focus back on Val she smiled.

no need to worry about things that brought down her mood, it was time for a change and Val was ready too.

They boarded the plane and can she say it was a pretty perfect day. She no longer felt that guilt that once took place in her heart.

Only too feel the love of someone is all she really wanted. Here was Val a great guy that would change for her.

That's all she really wanted.

And since then .. once they arrived back home. She didn't know what would happen maybe move back in together? She knew she had to face Jay again. He had the rest of her stuff. Just thinking about that blonde headed asshole made her feel uneasy.

"Ready for a new start" Val says squeezing her hand lightly.

She look's up at him taking everything in.

down to his deep dark brown eyes, to the scar she gave him right above his eye from DWTS. She felt a Little giggle escape her mouth.

"Yes, Val.. i'm ready". and for the first time in Seventeen years....

She meant every single last word.

So, hey hey. I hope you enjoyed this chapter there are more to come. I hope you have a great awesome Friday ! and a fantastic weekend. I'll update as soon as I can, like I said I'm getting back to writing. Anyway Vote/Comment. I need to dedicate this to someone (': Bye!