bear // phan - book one

chapter four

phil's pov

bear and i left the mall, walking back to his car.

"so, bear, what'd you get me?" i asked, feeling my arm shoot out. i glared at it.

"i'm not going to tell you, phil." dan looked at me, smirking a little.

"oh, why not?" i nudged him with my shoulder.

"you'll see it soon enough!" dan smiled, "we still going to the bar?"

i thought about it for a second. what could go wrong? "yeah."

bear raced in front of me, opening the passenger side door.

"thank you, bear." i smiled, and for some reason, his cheeks turned a rose red.

i climbed into the car, bear shutting the door behind me. i turned to face him as he got into the driver side.

"bear?"

"yeah?"

"do i, uh, still stutter?" i looked him in the eyes, making sure he'd tell the truth.

bear froze, looking at me with his chocolate eyes.

"yes." he whispered.

"oh."

"yeah."

how do i still stutter? i'm almost nineteen. i heard dan start the car, and we backed out of the parking spot.

"is it as bad as it was?" i asked.

"well," dan stopped to think for a second, "no, not really. it's getting better."

"oh."

dan looked over at me, but also kept his attention towards the road.

he reached over and squeezed my hand, "it's getting better, phil."

when he squeezed my hand, i felt something go through my body. i don't know what it was, but it was something.

i nodded, and he smiled at me. before i knew it, we pulled into the bar parking lot.

"do you have your id on you?" bear asked.

"yeah, do you?"

"mhm."

we walked into the bar, immediately getting stopped.

"let me see your id." the security guard nudged bear.

i proceeded to take mine out as well, but he stopped me. "you're okay."

once bear and i had gotten passed the guy, we sat on the bar stools.

"why didn't he stop you?" bear asked me, curiously.

i rolled my eyes at him, "you seem to forget i'm almost a year older than you."

"oh, so you've—"

"yeah."

i thought back to the day dan and i had a fight.

<<<
a week after phil's 18th birthday

"phil, we're going to be going off to uni soon..." bear reminded me, "and then we'll— you'll be getting married."

"why won't you be getting married?" i asked him.

"the person i love with all my heart only thinks of me as a friend, that's all they'll ever think of me." he avoided eye contact with me.

"well, who is it?"

"you don't know them." dan mumbled.

"how do you know?"

"i just know, phil."

"when did you stop telling me everything?" i asked, "is it a guy?"

"what? no! why would i fall in love with a guy? i'm not gay, phil!" he defended himself.

today: the day i found out my best friend likes guys.

so, i got wasted.

—
"bear, i don't think i'm going to drink much today," i turned to him, "i still gotta protect you."

bear turned and smiled at me, "alright, lion. thank you. i still can't believe you drank without me."

i sighed, "dan-"

i thought about what just came out of my mouth, stopping myself.

bear's smile faded rather quickly, "uh, yeah. that's my name, phil."

"did i just-"

"yeah, phil you said my name." he turned to the bartender. "let me get wasted."

a couple shots later, bear was taking them like it was no problem. he was happy again.

he put his hand on my shoulder, "lion, lemme jus say," he started to sway a little bit, so i put my arm around him for support, "remember when i told you that the person i loved wouldn't marry me?"

"yeah? why?"

"'cause phil, i'm so in love with you," he moved his hand to take another shot, "it hurts like—" dan dropped the shot glass back on the bar, pointing his finger at his heart, "right here."

i didn't believe him. "bear, you're drunk."

"hey," bear pointed at me to defend himself, "hey! a wasted mans thoughts are a sober mans words!"

"no, bear—"

"hey! it's dan!" dan turned to look who yelled, it was pj.

pj threw a sloppy fist into dan's face, causing dan to fly into the bar, and hitting his head. "what the fuck man?!"

pj hit him again, causing dan to pass out.

"shit," i muttered. i got up, grabbing pj by the shirt. "go home," i whispered into his ear, "or i swear to god—" pj giggled.

"okay, okay, phil! i'll go home." he raised his arms to surrender.

i turned around to dan, the bartender already calling 999.