River Song: Hello Sweetie

University Becomes You

University Becomes You

It's the early days of River Song. She's a student at Luna University and positively thriving. The classes are harder than she had ever taken as Mels Zucker, and she loves every bit of it. Her human plus Time Lord brain has always loved challenges and with all the advanced classes she's taking, she actually has to work. She strives for perfection, and reaches it constantly. She would be every professor's favorite student if she wasn't so exasperating. She is not afraid to question things or state her opinion, and it wouldn't be so annoying if she wasn't usually right. The Doctor visits her every once in a while. He never stays long enough, but his visits are always interesting.

It's the early morning, and River is running late. She is usually early to class and sitting in the front, but she had stayed up to the early hours of the morning critiquing her latest paper. She sprints to her class, hair flying. When she reaches the door, she skids to halt and takes a moment to compose herself. She opens the door quietly and hastens to her seat. She arranges her books and turns her attention to the professor. Her jaw drops. Sitting on the desk in all his bow tie and tweed glory, is the Doctor. She claps a hand over her mouth and stifles her laughter. "Hello class!" He says energetically. "I'm your substitute teacher today! What are we learning?" Whispers and giggles rise from the students. River smirks as she raises her hand. He gestures to her, and she leans forward slightly. "Physics." She winks, and he blushes slightly. It's an innocent word, but when River says it, it sounds positively wicked. The other students are immediately interested. They all know River is an incurable flirt, and they are all happy to ignore their lesson to see how this new professor would react. "Thank you. Physics!" He claps his hands together. "Physics, physics, physics! All right, class dismissed! Have a nice day!" The students laugh, but don't leave. They're waiting for his jokes to subside and the lesson to start. "No, really. Class dismissed. There's no lesson for today." The students cheer and race for the door.

River waits for the room to clear, and then takes tantalizingly slow steps to the Doctor. She has almost reached him when he gets too impatient and swoops her into his arms. She laughs and hugs him tightly. He leans his head down and hums into her hair. "Your teaching skills leave much to be desired." She says teasingly as she pulls away. "I am an excellent teacher." He says lightly. "But I didn't feel like teaching today. I felt like seeing you." She smiles in response to his cheesiness. "You sentimental idiot." He opens his mouth to defend himself but before he can get a word in, his lips are covered with hers. He kisses her too briefly for her liking, bopping her on the nose as he pulls away. She rolls her eyes, but smiles fondly at him. She opens her blue book to compare time lines with him but is interrupted by an explosion. One of her friends races into the classroom, eyes wild as she surveys the room. "River! What are you doing here? Who is he?" She gestures to the Doctor, then waves her hand to dismiss him. "Never mind. You have to leave! A spaceship landed on the quad and a bunch of angry Sontarans marched out and started shooting everything!" River turns to glare at the Doctor. He scratches the back of his head and has the decency to look sheepish. "What?" He says. "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Oh, I don't know." River says sarcastically. "You show up to 'teach' and suddenly an angry bunch of Sontarans appear. It's almost too much to believe it was just a coincidence." "Surprise?" He offers weakly. She laughs and he smiles, relieved that she's not actually upset. Another explosion goes off, and the Doctor is pulled back to the situation at hand. "Right." He says. "River, and person I don't know, please wait here. I'll go talk to them." With that, he runs out the door. River counts to five, and starts to follow after him. "River! What are you doing?" Her friend says. "That man told us to stay here!" River laughs and turns back to smile. "If there's one thing that makes me want to come with, it's telling me to stay put. See you later!"

The ship has returned to space, carrying the disgruntled, unconscious Sontarans back to wherever they came from. River and the Doctor watch it fly away. "That went rather well." The Doctor says. River laughs. "Sweetie, my hair is scorched, my dress has a hole in it, and worst of all, I broke a nail!" "Well, it could have been worse." "It would have been nice if you had actually had a plan." "I did have a plan!" He defends. "You improvised." She scoffs. "I planned to improvise!" He says stubbornly. She laughs and his indignant look immediately softens. She kisses him and he wraps his arms around her waist. They pull away slowly, both breathless. "Well, Sweetie," she says, "I believe you owe me lunch, considering you threw my day entirely off schedule." "My pleasure Ms. Song. Wherever and whenever you like." River smiles and starts to run away. "Whoever gets to the Tardis first gets to drive!" She calls over her shoulder. "What-no! River! Wait up!"

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River is back at Luna University, but this time she is no longer a student. She is the reigning Professor of Archeology. She's discovered she likes teaching just as much as learning. She loves seeing her students' bright eyes and feeding their curiosity for knowledge. She is every students' favorite professor. Every lesson is as exciting and as unpredictable as the woman herself.

She's running five minutes late. She doesn't worry, she usually starts her classes at uneven times to keep her students on their toes. If there's one thing she's learned about teaching, it's to never let her students become complacent. She stops at her classroom door and pulls out a compact mirror. After a moment of checking her reflection, she deems herself presentable and flings open the door. It bangs open and all eyes in the classroom are on her. "Hello everybody. Ready to get started?" The class murmurs their assent, and she gazes up at them, then she stares. The Doctor is there, sitting right in the middle of the class, completely at ease, as if he belongs there. River smirks at him, and he grins back. "Hello there. It looks like we've got a newcomer. And who are you?" The class all crane their necks to look at the person she's singled out. "Yes, that's me, the newcomer." The Doctor says, enjoying the attention. He waves his hand in greeting. "Name's Smith. John Smith. Don't mind me, I'm just trying different classes. Carry on, it will be as if I'm not even here." River hums for a moment, then starts the lesson. She completely ignores the Doctor, and it really is as if he's not there. He would be bothered by that, but he enjoys watching her teach too much to actually muster up any proper indignation. She definitely knows her profession. She has a remarkable patience with her students, always eager to listen to questions, and always able to answer them. The Doctor almost forgets that he isn't a student, and he has to restrain himself from answering all the questions. She makes him want to impress her.

She finishes her lessons and the students crowd around her desk to talk to her. The Doctor lingers in the back and watches her laugh and talk excitedly with them. She treats all of them as colleagues, and he can tell they love her for it. He waits until the last student leaves before he comes up to her. "John Smith. I trust you enjoyed your time in this class?" River's eyes twinkle as she looks up at him. "Oh yes. It was very interesting. I must say I found the whole experience... Enlightening." "Well then, we must talk about it over lunch." "Professor River Song, are you asking me out on a date? I'll have you know I'm a married man!" "I'm sure your wife won't mind." She purrs, then she kisses him. He hums in the back of his throat when he pulls away, and he finds his hands have mysteriously weaved their way into her hair. "You bad, bad girl." He pulls his hands away and boings one of her corkscrew curls. She wrinkles her nose and then pulls out her blue book. He pulls out a slightly thinner blue book, and they match timelines. They aren't completely linear, but close enough. "Is your schedule clear for the rest of the day? I believe you've promised me lunch." "I have some things to do tomorrow, but I trust you'll bring me back in time. Or you could let me drive." "Oi, she's MY Tardis. I get to drive!" Their banter is interrupted by a crashing sound, followed by screams. River sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Sweetie, who have you ticked off now?" "It's not my fault this time, I promise!" He shrugs his shoulders in a "what can you do?" attitude and pulls out his sonic screwdriver. River pulls a gun out of her desk drawer. "You have a gun hidden in your classroom?" "Don't be so surprised, I have a gun hidden everywhere." The Doctor rolls his eyes and grabs her hand. "Ready?" "My love, I am always ready." And with that, they head straight into trouble.

It turns out the trouble was just a bunch of adolescent Homo Reptilia that had taken a space ship for a joyride. Nothing too serious, but when the ship crashed, the scared, confused, and slightly drunk reptilian teenagers started shooting at everything. It took the Doctor and River hours to get everything sorted out. By the time everything had settled down, it was already late into the night. "That was quite a mess." River stated, as she and the Doctor collapsed into her recently bought house. "Yes, but at least it wasn't my fault this time." The Doctor says smugly. River smiles and heads into the kitchen. The Doctor follows quickly after, almost knocking into her when she stops to look out the window. "You parked the Tardis in my flower bed." She remarks. "Sorry dear." He says sheepishly. She just laughs and pours them glasses of water. He drinks it gratefully and then just looks at her. She finishes her glass and then stretches her sore muscles. "Alright then!" He claps his hands together. "Ready to go?" "Go where, my love?" She asks bemusedly. "We have a lunch date, remember?" "Sweetie, it's almost midnight." "But it's lunch time somewhere else." River smiles fondly at his enthusiasm, then her smile becomes devious as she invades his personal space. The Doctor swallows nervously. "River, what are you doing?" She leans against him and flutters her eyelashes. "May I pick where we go?" She asks sweetly. The Doctor just nods, stupefied. "Good. I'll drive." She pulls the key from out of his pocket and spins away. The Doctor's mind starts working again, and his arms flail about as he tries to catch up with her. "River! That's not fair!"