River Song: Hello Sweetie

Not What I Meant, Exactly What I Want

Not What I Meant, Exactly What I Want

"Come along, Ponds, adventures await!" The Doctor cries, rubbing his hands together gleefully. Rory and Amy grumble a bit as they get up off the floor, the Doctor's driving had been rather bumpy and their backsides were sore from the fall. The Doctor jumps up and down on his toes in exuberance as he waits for them to pick themselves up, all the while rambling on about the planet he's picked out for them. They are about to walk out of the blue doors when the phone rings. The Doctor heaves a great, long-suffering sigh and trudges to the phone. "Hello?" He answers a bit moodily. "River!" His countenance brightens and the Pond couple comes closer to hear the Doctor and their daughter's conversation. "Hold on, you're where? Why are you there? You have a vortex manipulator, all of time and space, and you chose to go there? What do you mean the vortex manipulator isn't working anymore?" There's a sound of gunfire coming through the phone and the Doctor almost drops it in surprise. "Who's shooting at you? Never mind, I'll be right there!" The Doctor hangs up the phone and flies about the console, hitting buttons and pulling levers in a frenzy. He's a blur of tweed and elbows. "Sorry Ponds, just a quick side stop, we are going to pick up your daughter!" He turns a switch and smiles at them mischievously. "And as always, as it should be, I'm leaving the blue boringers off!"

River hadn't meant to start a fight, really she hadn't. It had been a rather dreary day at Stormcage and she had been dying for a drink. It had been so easy to get her vortex manipulator, honestly, you'd think the Stormcage guards would be smarter by now and start wearing lip coverings. Nevertheless, River couldn't complain about the convenience of it all, plus her guard that day had been rather attractive. When she had retrieved her rather handy time accessory, she picked a time in New, New, Vegas where the scene was wild and the drinks practically free. She had minded her own business at the bar, drinking alcohol to die for, when a man had drunkenly grabbed her rear end. She had spun around, but before she could do anything, another man had already punched the drunk. Suddenly, all of the other patrons decided to take their grievances out on one another, and chaos erupted. River wouldn't usually mind, but today she was not in the mood for a brawl. She pressed a few buttons on her vortex manipulator, but a man crashed into the table next to her, knocking a glass of spirits onto her person. She cursed as the manipulator hissed and smoked and pulled the blasted, now useless thing off of her wrist. There was only one available option left. She slipped away from the punching masses and made the call. "Hello?" "Hello Sweetie."

As soon as the Tardis lands, Amy flys out the door, Rory and the Doctor hurrying after her. Amy's boots crunch on broken glass and she takes in the sight before her. Fifteen men are sprawled out on the floor and in the midst of them, calmly sipping on a martini, is River. "Hello Mum, Dad, Sweetie. Lovely day we're having, no?" "River-I-you-what-" The Doctor splutters, River smirks and interrupts his stuttering. "Don't worry, I only stunned them. And only after they started shooting at things." "Why?" Amy asks, her eyebrows raised and her lips uplifted in an amused smile. "Oh, you know how it is, you come for a drink, they come for a distraction, and suddenly punches are like currency here, fast and flying." Amy and Rory laugh and the Doctor shakes a disapproving finger at River. "You naughty girl." River elegantly rises from her chair, picks her way through the snoring bodies, and kisses the Doctor with fiery passion. "There's more where that came from, Sweetie." She flirts huskily when she finally pulls away from him. The Doctor's hands have somehow made their way tightly around her waist, he's blushing, and Rory is coughing loudly. "Parents still in the room!" He cries, disgusted and horrified. River scoffs but pulls herself out of the Doctor's arms. "Oh please, I've seen you and mum do much worse." "Oi! We didn't know you were our daughter then!" Amy says, a mortified blush spreading across her cheeks. River simply smirks and Amy punches her in the shoulder. A man on the floor groans. "Umm.. How about we leave before anyone wakes up?" Rory suggests. River nods and glides into the Tardis. "Good idea. Once the bartender wakes up, he's going to be rather upset at the state of his respectable establishment, and I have no intention of paying the bill."

It's an afternoon of adventure later, and the Doctor is certain River is trying to drive him crazy. They had consulted diaries, tinkered with the future, and run for their lives. Amy and Rory had insisted eating dinner on earth, and the Doctor is discovering that sitting next to River while her parents are right in front of them is a very, very bad idea. She seems very behaved and invested in the conversation, but all the while she's writing erotic poetry in Gallifreyan circles on his upper thigh. Every once in a while she'll press her nails a little harder, and the Doctor has to cover up his squeaks with very unconvincing coughs. "River." He hisses into her ear. "Down girl." "Not a chance." She whispers, nipping at his ear before pulling away and ignoring him to chat with her parents. 'Two can play at this game.' The Doctor thinks and places his arm around her lower waist, his hand very close to her bum. He draws swirls and squiggles and feels triumphant every time she squirms under his touch. She glares at his smug countenance and her leg tries to lash out at him. "Ow!" Amy cries, jumping a little in her chair. "Someone kicked me!" "Sorry." River says, blushing and shooting lasers at the Doctor out of the corner of her eyes. "My leg had a spasm." "Did something happen?" Rory asks. "Are you alright?" "Oh, she's fine." The Doctor says, smirking at his wife. "You're fine, right honey?" "Peachy." She says through gritted teeth, smiling tightly. The Doctor knows she's biting her tongue, trying to stay appropriately silent. He pinches her bum and she starts, barely suppressing a squeak of her own. "Ok." Amy says, eyeing them suspiciously. She glances down at the table and starts to realize the battle of flirting wills between them, she smiles deviously. The Doctor blanches. "So..." Amy says slowly, the Doctor waits for the inevitable reveal and the feeling of a Roman sword through his chest. "What are you doing after dinner?" She finishes. The Doctor blinks. "I'm glad you mentioned it, Pond. I have an idea of adventure for us-" "No." She interrupts. "What are you and River doing after dinner? Rory and I are going to do something together." "We are?" Rory asks, oblivious to what Amy's trying to do. "Yes, stupid face. We are. Grown up stuff." The Doctor rolls his eyes. "Grown up stuff is boring." He says, just as oblivious. River notices this and starts to inch her hand higher and higher- "Yes, well, be grown ups and stay here. River and I need to check on the Tardis." The Doctor blurts out hurriedly, grabbing River's hand and practically pulling her out of her seat.

"You are a horrible woman." The Doctor moans against River's mouth. "I try." She says breathlessly, her hands playing with his bow tie, his hands securely in her hair. "Just terrible." He murmurs, planting a dozen kisses against her throat. She hums and he can feel her heartbeat on his tongue. She kisses him, nipping at his lips, craving all of him. He tries to keep his thoughts coherent, it's not working. At all. "But really, in front of your father." He tries, wanting to lighten the lust around them but also desperate to never stop kissing his delicious, heavenly temptress of a wife. "Darling, that was nothing compared to him and Amy." "They didn't know they needed to hide their amorous display." He reminds her gently, kissing her collarbones and shoulders. "I know, but there are just some things you can't un-see." River says, a laugh alight in her eyes. She kisses him again and again, the talking stops. The Doctor can not seem to bring her close enough to him, even though they are completely pressed together. "And you weren't helping either." She says, almost as an afterthought. "Well, when your crazy, hot wife is being an awful tease, you do what you can to retaliate." She chuckles throatily. "Are you calling me crazy?" She kisses his chin. "Yes. No! That's not what I meant!" She laughs. "We'll work on your complimenting skills later." "Yes ma'am." "Amy and Rory are going to be back soon." River groans against his skin, trying to remind herself as well. "Well then let's make ourselves scarce." They make their way down the halls of the Tardis, stealing kisses against walls and generally not going anywhere. After a bunch of bumps and bruises and breaking into laughter, the Doctor and River finally make it to their room. They hear the front door slam. "It seems the Ponds are here, should we-" "Sweetie, don't you dare say stop." He kisses her cheek. "Wouldn't dream of it." "You better not, because I want you." There's a long moment of kissing and sighs of anticipation. "Sweetie, this is generally the time when you say something sort of romantic back. I said it first, now you." "I was getting to it!" "When?" "Cheeky woman." She kisses him. After a blissful moment of lips and teeth, he pulls away slightly and kisses her closed eyelids. "River Song, you are exactly what I want." "Good. Now shut up and kiss me, old man." "Bossy woman." He kisses her open mouth, words are no longer needed.