Parachutes (Album Adventures)

Parachutes: Everything's Not Lost...

A/N Hey there reader, thanks for going with me in this journey as this book is now coming to a close. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

My POV

I sit on my couch and my bags stacked by the door. It's been 16 years since I lasted said "I love you" to Chris Martin the lead singer of Coldplay and the man that kept a piece of my heart without my permission. My mind starts racing through it's maze as I reflect on what happened, when we loved each other, when it ended, why did it end? I remember when we got back together after the whole incident with Guy. My heart never felt more definite of anything in my life. I was so secure and sure of us, if not anything else I was sure of us. Then the universe decided to have its fun with our love. Finals were stressful, the band were doing gigs, rehearsing, and working all of the time, they got signed before graduation, the headlined the end of term family festival (and were amazing), they recorded an EP then an album, and then started touring. Chris was always so busy and I tried to be patient and understanding. I found myself a bit lost. Chris was like the other half of me and he was doing great in his career and life, so half of was happy and doing well. However, I couldn't ignore the half of me that was lost and didn't know what she wanted out of life besides Chris. For a long time Chris was enough for me. I was happy just being Chris Martin's girlfriend. We were both trying to adjust to girls hitting on him all of the time. He was so caring and kept reminding me of how hard he had to work to get to me and that he wasn't going to give that up so easily. I trusted him and loved him more than anything, so what happened? I can hear his voice singing a line from "Sparks"

"did I drive you away,
you said oh sing one you know."

I drove him away. In trying to find myself I lost Chris.

~Flashback~

"Honey I don't know what to do. I love you but I can't seem to make you happy anymore. Do you still love me?"

"Yes Chris I love you so much!"

"Then why aren't we working? We love each other, so what's wrong with us?"

"I dunno" I whisper and start crying. Chris begins to cry as well. I'm pretty sure we both know what's happening. Chris pulls me into his arms and hold me tightly to him. I hold him so tight as if holding him will stop us from falling apart.

"Honey I love you so much it hurts. Everything hurts!"

"I hurt too Chris. I don't want to cause you pain. I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to be doing anymore. Baby I'm only stressing you out on top of all you have to deal with."

"With me, you belong with me, you're supposed to be with me. We can figure something out."

*giggle "you're always the optimist who worries too much and I love that about you."

"I love everything about you, endlessly I swear!"
I kiss his clothed chest where his heart is to comfort him and confirm my love for him.

"I love you endlessly babe, so I can't do this to you. I need to find myself so I can be someone even somewhat worthy your love."

"BUT WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT. YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE YOUR LOVE AWAY FROM ME. I need you." Chris started getting frantic and began shouting at first. He calmed down and whispered his last sentence. He sounded so hurt and broken.

"Chris really think about this. Our relationship isn't working right now. Our love isn't enough. I wish it was but it's not. Maybe one day it will be but right now..."

"I want to fix us but I can't ask you to fix us and find yourself at the same time. That's selfish I think."

"I need to have all my pieces before we can fix us." I take his hands in my hands and place his on my cheek. "Then my love..." I kiss his long slender fingers. "... we can take your pieces and my pieces and fix what we needs to be fix. You have to have all the parts to fix anything and I'm missing mine."