Chance.

Chapter 10: Hold my hand.

Quote of the chapter^. Just want you all to know I am doing a Liam Payne fan fiction next, I have the outline done. Will update about that later, do read it when I write it. However, I think this story might end up having 20 chapters. So after this chapter we would most probably be the half way through. Yay.Plus also want to tell you all that if you see some grammar or spelling mistakes do ignore them because despite reading the chapter I sometimes still miss them cause hey I am just a human 😂. Anyway enjoy the chapter.💕

10 March 2016. Today it has been exactly 3 months since I got married. It's also been 3 months since my mom died. Unfortunately she died on my wedding day.
Niall and I have been doing a great job at ignoring that we kissed, and also that I told him how I feel. Of course now that has changed... I don't like him anymore... I love him. It might be impossible but it increases everyday. It was awkward for the first few days but now we are okay. We talk like we are friends, laugh like we are friends and then pretend we are in love when we go out. That's just great right? No it isn't. Because when we go out and pretend I actually have to hold his hand and that really wants me to make it real.
I want to know how it feels to be loved by Niall.

I really wanted to go back to my mom's house to see how it is now. Of course we had to cover stuff up. But we left the furniture there incase I want to go back and see. And I am doing that. Niall said he'll go with me. I am actually really nervous going back, I don't know what kind of emotions I will go through. Sometimes I think I'll be strong and just go through it all, and other times I feel like that I'll just go straight into tears upon arriving the house.
"Ready?" Niall asks me as the car stops outside my mom's house all the way in California.
I look at the house, I think I am going to go with the crying part. I look down on the floor of the car."What's wrong?" Niall asks me.
"I don't know." I tell him."I think I am not strong enough to do this anymore."
He looks at me then says."I know you are and you should know that too."
"If I am why do I feel like I am not?" I ask him.
"Because you are letting yourself think that, Emma you can be anything you want, believe in yourself, and being strong isn't hard for you, because I know that you are."
"And what if you are wrong?" I ask him."What if I start crying."
"Crying isn't weakness... it's showing that you care." He says. Oh how does he always know what to say to make me feel better?
"But incase you are really nervous." He tells me."You can always hold my hand if that will make you feel better."
Hold his hand? And not because we are pretending because that will make me feel better. Yes. I'd love that. That would be nice.
"Ok." I say as I smile at him and he smiles back.
"I'll be there with you as you take each of your step." He tells me.
"Thank you Nialler." I tell him.
We go outside the house. I know he meant I can hold his hand as a friend of course. But this is different this time. It's not pretending this time. He is the sweetest.
I am about to take the key out of my purse as I hear someone say my name."Emmy." I quickly recognize it as Charlie. Not now. We haven't talked since that supermarket encounter. I told Niall that I met him and I also told him what he said to me. He just laughed about it. Obviously I didn't tell him the parts where I defended him like my life depended on it.

Niall's point of view:
He rushes towards us as Emmy rolls her eyes. He shouldn't be doing this right now,  I really don't like this guy. First of all he thinks Emma still likes him then he is a jerk. She likes me. I have to move this thought away I don't like thinking about this. It's nothing I feel proud of. Her liking me doesn't make me feel like hey I am really good looking.
"Charlie." She says.
"Emmy." He says as he tries to take her into a hug which she slightly gives back. He looks at me then says."What are you doing here?"
"Can I ask you the same thing?" I ask him.
"I saw Emmy, I had to say hi." He snaps at me.
"And you are here because....?"
"Because it's none of your business." I tell him.
I see Emma rolling her eyes at us as we argue.
"Can we just go in?" She asks me. This means a lot to her. This is the first time she returning here since she left. And I see how she is nervous about it, and I understand why. And because of that I am going to be there for her no matter what. I'll always be there for her, even if it's jumping of a cliff.
"Yes." I say, she takes a key out of her small black purse and hand it to me."You open it for me?"
"Sure." I say as I slowly open the door. She stops there.
"Emmy?" I hear Charlie's voice. I really want to kick him right now.
"What?" She asks him looking at him.
"Are you nervous?" He asks her. Oh no Charlie not at all she is all enthusiastic about doing this. No problem.
"Obviously." She says as she tries taking a step in. She is most welcomed to hold my hand now if she wants.
"You can hold my hand." I hear Charlie's voice. Hold his hand? No. If he even tried doing that I am going to really kick him and I don't care where it hits him and I don't care how much it hurts him. I think it'll be funny any way.
I see Emmy look at his hand but I slowly feel some one grabbing mine. I look down to see her holding mine. She then looks at mine as I grab hers back. Charlie looks at us holding our hands then rolls his eyes and steps in.
"Let's go in." She tells me.

Emmy's point of view:
I keep hold of his warm hand as we walk in and around the house. It doesn't feel like it's the same house I grew up in. It's so sad and lonely here. It's feels like the walls are crying and the floor is screaming as I take each step. My eyes slip a tear down and I let it. Because like Niall just said crying doesn't make you weak, it just shows that you care.
I tell Niall how Maura talked to me in the kitchen before he came. I tell him how the milk was over flowing in my bowl."Oh I noticed the milk." He tells me.
"You did?" I ask him with a smile.
"Yes, and I thought you just like a lot of milk in your cereal." He tells me.
I give a small laugh."I know you don't." He tells me.
"Yeah I don't." I say.
"Actually." He says."I think if it goes even a little more or less then needed, you don't even eat it."
He's right I don't."I do eat it no matter how it is." I snap at him as I laugh.
"No, you don't, remember couple days ago when I put accidentally put more milk then needed, you left the cereal and made it all over again?" He says. True I did do that.
"I only did that because..." oh I have nothing to say.
"Yes?" He asks me."Why did you do that Emmy?"
"Al right." I say."I always do that."
We were so busy joking that I forget that Charlie was here too. "You two want to stand here and argue all day?" He asks.
"We weren't arguing." I tell him. I know it's not fair for him but he doesn't have to be rude about it.
"Anyways." He says rolling his eyes."If you want to a place to sleep you can always stay at my house." That's nice of him but I know if I go Niall would be alone and I know Charlie isn't going to let him come.
"Can Niall come too?" I ask him. Niall makes a move I know he doesn't want to come either. He doesn't really like Charlie for some reason.
"No." Charlie says. Oh forget it when I said nice if him "Only you."
"Then no." I say."Besides I want to stay here, my bed is still upstairs like the rest of the furniture."
He looks at Niall who looks straight back at him."What about him?" He asks me pointing at Niall.
"I am right here you know." Niall snaps in. That's my boy. Good job Nialler.
"Fine, where do you plan to sleep on the couch?" Charlie says with a laugh. I see Charlie has this really rude side I never knew of.
"Where I sleep has nothing to concern of you." Niall tells him. Oh that's my boy. I am so proud of you Niall.

Later we sit on my bed filled with dust."You didn't have to stay here for me." Niall tells me.
"I know." I say."But I wanted to stay here because of my mom."
"So you just snapped in my name for no reason?" He jokes.
"No." I say."And I stayed for you too."
"Thanks Emma." He says.
"Besides we can fit on my bed." I joke. We both laugh.
I talk to him about my mom, my dad. All the times about my time here. The good ones the bad ones. How I used to always hide in the same closet when me and my dad played hide and seek when I was really little. How I used to hide under bed from my mom when she came to wake me up for school. Stupid me, I had to wake up to hide. "You know what my mom told me about love, before she died?"
"What?" He asks me.
"You don't find love, it finds you and you never know how." I say. Niall looks in my eyes from his crossed ones. It looks like he is confused and that he is thinking something.
"It's not that confusing." I tell him.
"Yeah I know." He says."I was just thinking something."
"What?" I ask him.
"Just something." He says as he releases my hand. He was still holding it. He held it the entire day and I liked that. Because this time we were not pretending.
"And what was that something?" I ask him as I lay on my bed.
"Just something." He repeats.
"You can always say that you don't want to tell me." I tell him as he lays down next to me.
"But I want to tell." He says.
"Then tell me." I say.
"But I can't." He tells me as he meets my eyes. We are like an inch away from each other but I know he won't do anything. That kiss was the only kiss we ever had and will probably will be the same. Unless somehow Niall starts to like me. What if he doesn't? What if we have do spend the rest of our life like this? Just pretending. I don't think I can do that if I am in love with like I am. Oh Emmy let's not think about this stuff right now.
"Why?" I ask him.
"I will." He says.
"When?" I ask him.
"Someday." He tells me."When I think I am ready."
"Niall was it such a bad thought?" I ask him. He really does confuse me sometimes. I mean he was just thinking. And I wouldn't have cared if he didn't make such a big deal out of it. But now I want to know.
"No." He says."It was actually really nice but I don't know if I want to talk about it right now."
"Ok." I say."I understand."
"Thank you Emma" he says as he holds my hand again.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed. Just wanted to write a little from Niall's perspective to show how much he hates Charlie. Haha. keep reading to find out what happened next.💕