The bad boy wants to protect me?

I couldn't breath. My head was spinning and my eyes were brimming with tears from the thoughts of Ladan finiding out my past. What would he think of me? A girl who let her dad rape her over and over again. He'd think i was disgusting, a slut. I promised i wouldn't let my past ruin my future. Right know Ladan is my future, fo rnow anyway, and i wouldn't let my dad ruin this section of my life.

"It's nothing." I mumbled and stepped out of the car. I stumbled from my spinning head once i stepped onto the pavement but regained my balance straight away. I wouldn't act weak. I am not weak.

I made my way up to the house, i heard Ladan's car door slam and you could tell he had used too much force. He was clearly angry. I opened the door and made my way upstairs. I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as i slipped off my clothes. I knew Ladan would be coming in here, but right now i don't care if he sees me, the alcohol joined with the shock and greif i was feeling about what happened at the club left me numb. I just didn't care. Plus it's not like i was umcomfortab;e with my body. 

I heard Ladan came in and walk up behind me. He traced his down my back with his finger where i knew one of my worse scars were. It was a white raised slash where my dad had smashed his bottle on me to stop me from running one night.

"I know you've been through something and shit has gone down in your life Addy. I don't know what but i'm going to find out, i can promise you that. I'm gonna break through your walls and let you learn to trust me. Just don't push me away." He said in the softest voice. It made me wonder how this sweet guy could be that same one beating the crap into a guy at the club with that ferocious look in his eyes. 

I turned around to look at him. I straed into his deep eyes and found myself gettin glost again. There was so much emotion in his eyes, protective and sincerity. It shocked me that this guy was staring straight back into my eyes instead of raking my body like any other guy would. I forgot that he had been speaking to me and he was waiting for me to reply. He lifted his hand to my cheek and brushed his knuckles to my cheekbone. I wouldn't let him break me. I turned my head to stare out the window.

"My past is exactly what it is. It's over now and i want i to be done with and buried. It's not something i want to recap and preach about." I said and hopped into bed. Snuggling under my covers i wanted to sleep all this shit off.

I looked up to see Ladan take off his t-shirt and jeans. I couldn't help but check him out. This made me feel like some sort of pervert, this man didn't feel the need to check me out when i was semi-naked but i couldn't hold my self control to not rake my eyes over his body when he was. Great, damn hormones. He left his boxers on and hopped into my bed. He faced me and searched my face for something. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me into his hard chest. I sighed in contentment. He was so comfy and i could stay in his arms forever. It's like our bodies fit perfectly together.Every curve of mine fit into his curves like we were 2 peices of a jigsaw puzzle.

Just as i started to drift off to sleep i remembered his words 'Im gonna break through your walls'. I don't want that. It took all my strength to move his arm and scoot across to the opposite side of the bed. I watched as his face fell and i felt a pang of regret in my chest but i knew it was for the best.

He wouldn't want to be cuddling with me if he knew what i was like. 

I turned my back to him and started to drift to sleep. i was suprised sleep came so easily to me after everything that had happened today But i wasn't complaining. 

I slowly opened my eyes and expected to see the house i had been squatting in. But to my despair i didn't. The beige walls greeted me. His green eyes staring down at me like i was his prey and he was ready to attack. I knew what was coming next so before he could touch me i struggled underneath his body. I couldn't et this happen again. How did i even get back here? Surely Ladan would have noticed someone taking me from our bed. At the thought of Ladan my heart sank, he must have found out. I shed a small tear for him, he was my only friend. I had only known him a few days but i'll miss him now. My dad pinned me back onto the bed and slapped me across the cheek.

"How many times are you going to try and run Addison? You know it never works." I kicked hiim in the chin and ran. |Stumbling down the stairs and out the door.

 I was running, running from him. Running so fast i couldn't breath, i couldn't feel my legs as they gave out under the force of how fast i was running. Those green eyes haunting me. Chasing me, so close, so so close. My heart felt like it was about to jump right out of my chest. My stomach in knots. My whole body numb. My hair still in the tangled mess it always was. A red hand print on my face. 

Before i knew it i was falling. My face hit the pavement with a crack and i knew my nose was broken again. He had hold of my ankles and was crawling up my body to get on top of me. At this point i would usually go unconciouss. But it wasn't coming, that usual drowsy feeling wasn't here and my eyes could see everything clearly. not even a blur. He was on top of me pinning me down with his large body. I could feel all of him, his hard chest and beer belly, i could even feel his erection pressed against my knee. I was gagging and i had to turn my head to the side as i puked up stomach acid. I had no food to puke up sice he hadn't fed me today. 

I squeezed my eyes shut as he started to fumble with my shorts. I immediately regretted it. Flashbacks and memories invaded my mind, the day daddy taught me how to ride a bike, my 2nd birthday when i had to climb onto his knee to blow out my candles, my first day of school when he cried after seeing me in my uniform. 

"Please don't daddy." I whispered to him trying to hide my sobs.

"Shutup Izzy!" He shouted in my face as he ripped off my shorts obviously getting aggravated with the buttons. Izzy? It made me want to vom when he said that name. My mothers name. He tries to imagine i'm her. 

"Now then Izzy my love, lets make a baby shall we?" He said while stroking my face affectionately before plunging himself into me with all his force. I screamed with all my might.

I bolted up in the bed. A scream stuck in my throat. I could feel the sweat trailing my forehead and the palms of my hands were damp. I was shakig as i took in my surroundings. I was back at the house i was sharing with Ladan. I felt movement in the side of the bed and my breath left my throat as i looked down at the still sleeping Ladan. His peacful yet hard face made me clam down instantly. He had a baby face when he sleeps and i couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. My nightmare had shaken me up so i lifted Ladans arm put it around my waist and snuggled into his chest. 

I felt at home in his arms. That nobody could hurt me. That my past, my future didn't matter when with Ladan, all it was was me and him. His arm wrapped around my waist and tightened so i was flushed against his body. I stared at his face, his brown hair sticking up everywhere from where he had been sleeping, his straight nose and square jaw. He was perfect. 

I knew right there it was working, he was breaking down my walls without even trying. He was even doing it in his sleep for god sake. I know he's going to break me, i don't know when, i don't know how, but he will and right in this moment. I didn't mind. I wanted him to save me to take the pain away and be with me, protect me.