Chaotic yet serene II words

What if I die tomorrow?

It's already 8 o'clock in the morning the street is filled with people rushing and wearing a frustrated look. Monday mornings, as usual. I was on my way in our school when a guy caught my attention. He is in the middle of the road but everyone is like in a mad carnival and this guy is just a hollow.

"Hey!" I shouted though we're not that far from each other, but he seems unconscious and it made me ran to his direction. This scenario is so familiar.

I grabbed his arms when I reached him. That was quite close the car was too fast if I wasted any seconds he might be hit. I couldn't see his face because I am facing his back and he is wearing a black hoodie.

"Are you crazy? Do you want to die?" I broke the silence. He moves his head and looks at the sky.

"If you want to die don't let others be involved. What if the driver has a family? Would you take the responsibility to be in prison? No, because you died." I'm late at my first subject but I need to teach this guy a lesson.

He is still looking at the sky. This guy didn't bother to speak it's like I'm invisible and it made my brows to raise.

"What if I die tomorrow?" He finally said something.

"If you're going to die tomorrow, make this day something that will last forever." When I said those words a cold breeze touches my skin it made my hair fly.

"I want everything to end. Every day is like the same. Every morning is like falling in a portal that doesn't end. You're alone and has no one to talk to. And then you wake up with something heavy in your heart. Every night is like being locked in an obscure place where all you can see is darkness. You spend your nights overthinking about everything and your 3am is the time when the water inside you bursts. Your head is full of voices and they always say that you're worthless and numb. Your everyday wish is to die in your sleep." He said without looking at me but I can feel the sadness in every words he said. He's holding something on his hand that made his jaw move. I moved closer to him and I saw that it's a picture.

"I felt exactly the same with you, but there's a person who made me realize that it's not the thing we should focused on. There's so much beautiful things on earth." I said while reminiscing the angelic face of the guy who helped me.

"If you'll die tomorrow, find the word happiness today and the real euphoria can be found everywhere. If you'll die tomorrow, let the sunlight touches your skin close your eyes and feel how warm the sun is. Let it melt your heart that have been frozen. Let it hug you to warm your cold hands because of anxiety and depression."

"If you'll die tomorrow, go and give time to the ocean and sea. Look at your reflection in the water, the one that you see is an epitome of a strong person. The one that you see is an art, a masterpiece. Those eyes that hold everything, those eyes that do not know how to lie is an art. That lips that when it curves to a smile can make the flowers smile too. It's an art. Listen to the song of the sea, the silence that doesn't sound too loud. Look at the waves, let it bring the agony, grudge, mourn and everything that makes your heart feel so heavy. Let the sea wash and clean your heart, let the waves bring it like how they travel in the sea." I continued.

"If you'll die tomorrow, give a sight to the beauty of flowers. Look how they are different from each other. Each of them holds a beauty in a different way. We are flowers, and the epitome of beauty blooms within."

"If you'll die tomorrow, listen to the lullaby of the birds. Hear how calm when the birds started to sing. It will clear your thoughts like how it clean the teeth of crocodile." I'm not trying to sounds funny but it made him smile. Yeah, just a smile.

"If you'll die tomorrow, watch the tears of clouds. Close your eyes and feel its presence, most of them hates it, but if go deeply you will appreciate the rain. Feel how every rain drops touch and kiss your skin. It's like the rain wants to give solace to you. It's like the rain is saying she's here when you want to cry and she's willing to cry too."

"If you'll die tomorrow, end your day in a place where most of us refuses to go. Thank Him for giving you a time to experience everything. Thank Him for guiding you until in your last day. Thank Him for everything."

"And when the last chapter of your story is coming. Watch how the sun start to fall down it's going to die again to let its moon to live. That's how you sacrifice for the one that you love. When the night comes spend your cold evening with a coffee, open your window and behold. Can you see the moon? It's trying to live because the sun sacrifice for her. It's trying to live because we cannot find light in darkness without her and the stars. It is still trying to live eventhough she lost the one that she love. If you'll die tomorrow, close your eyes and then let the darkness surrounds you for you already found the bliss."

When I said the latter part he finally faced me. My eyes widen and my mouth formed in O. This guy. His messy hair that hides his bristly eyebrows. His gleaming charcoal eyes. That aquiline nose. His rosy cheeks that makes his lips more shiny.

He is the guy that I was talking about. He is the guy that helped me when I was about to kill myself. He is the guy that made me realize how beautiful the world is.

He smiled bitterly. I can't help but to stare at him.

It really made me realize a lot. Even the person who looks happy and make you feel alive is sometimes the one who actually need someone. Even the person who helps you from drowning is the one who can't breathe. Even the person who says you need to stay alive is actually dying.

I smiled at him. "Life is full of surprises. Life is a game. You either win or lose. It's better to win knowing that you fight rather than to lose because you did not do anything."

He smiled..... His eyes are full of sorrow but his smile is genuine.

He said something but I couldn't hear it. It bother me when I saw him crying while looking at something in his hands.

"I always said that there is so much beautiful things here and it is rarely appreciated. And you is my world, all the beautiful things are with you. Tell me what to do? But how? Everyday is like a battle and I don't know how can I survive. I don't have a weapon anymore it was took from me. I am vulnerable and fragile without that... And if I survive from this battle can I still live?" He said while looking at the picture. I tried to comfort him but he just walked and passed me. I was shocked from what he did.

I shouted but he didn't look back. I tried to chase him but he is too fast. I asked every person I have encountered but they are all ignoring me.... I don't know... I just found myself crying in the middle of the street while watching him walking away from me.

- What if I die tomorrow, @Fallingrein