n(d)umbly wondering

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sometimes she wonders if crying is good
or how it feels
or does it really make you feel better
or does it just remind you again that you're a loser

is a good cry worth it
will a good cry
take the frustrations a bit
and make some pieces fit

or will she remain
in this monotonous tone of hers
trapped in contradictions and reverse

and as pathetic as this may sound
she sometimes wishes to have an answer to be found
wants to feel how saltwater would taste again
heart drowning bleeding from pen

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