just a little bit of what i need right now. maybe writing about it will help.
~
"Mitch? What's wrong?" I asked, sitting down next to my boyfriend. He had gotten a phone call a little less than an hour ago and he was crying on and off.
He hadn't cried in about three or four minutes, and another tear streamed down his face.
I didn't even need to hear him say anything, his reaction was enough for me to understand.
His nana died. She'd been sick for a little while, and there was a slim chance of her living. Mitch was very, very close with her. She had practically raised him.
I'd only met her once, about a month ago when she was in the hospital. She told me a story where in high school, before we started dating, Mitch would doodle Scottie the Hottie in his notebook.
I wrapped my arms around him and lie down with him in my arms, and his head on my chest. I kissed his head every so often and let him cry when he needed to, and be silent when he needed to.
About half an hour in, he fell asleep on my chest.
I ran my fingers softly through his hair, my other arm wrapped around him tightly.
His eyes fluttered open after ten minutes of sleeping.
He laid there for a minute or two, just breathing calmly.
"The funeral is next Monday," he said, "I knew it was going to happen but now that it actually has, it's so much harder than I thought it would be." He said.
"It is," I said, "nothing can prepare you for it, death isn't an easy thing to handle. I think you're handling it very well."
He took my hand that was running through his hair, and laced his fingers with mine. His head still laid on my chest and now, so did our hands.
He closed his eyes.
"I love you." He said. "Thank you for everything."
"I'm here as long as you need, princess," I said, "I love you too." I kissed his hair.
He started to quietly cry and I began to softly rub his back until he fell asleep again.
"I love you," I whispered.
~
if anyone wants to hold me like this pls do. this is in memory of my gran who died on Friday night.
