it's you.

{01}

thoughts 2/12/17-
love. unconditional love. i've never seen it before. but somehow, i know what it is. i want that unconditional love in my life. if we are going to be specific, i want it with you.
whenever i see you, i just want to kiss you. right on the spot. a soft, long, meaningful kiss. the two kids who never have seen two people completely 100% in love, fall for each other. wouldn't that be a great love story?
but that's not how it goes, doesn't it? i'll just sit in my bedroom thinking about you, and maybe how you're thinking about me too. but then i snap back into reality. i keep forgetting. nothing works out like that.
i need to tell him how i feel about him. i'll never know how he truly feels about me unless i make the move. but i think i already know how he feels.
i'm not the type of person someone falls in love with. why would he love me? does he even like me as a person? yeah, we're close friends, but that doesn't mean anything these days.
what do i love about you? i love watching your hands fiddle around. oh, how i wish i could just take your hand and interlock my fingers with yours. i love the meaningful looks you give me sometimes. they aren't intentional. you don't mean to give me those loving, dark hazel eyes.
but you are so beautiful and it makes my
heart shatter like a glass chandelier falling to the ground, hundreds of pieces on the ground, scattered everywhere.
and now i'm sitting in my cold and dark bedroom crying over you, and you're probably getting ready to fall asleep after a long day.
no i can't tell you how i feel about you. i don't think i'll be able to. i'm scared of rejection, abandonment.
i love you. you'll probably never know that, but if you ever see this for some weird reason.
i love you. i might not have experienced what love is, but i know that i love you. you. 
i might have said this one-hundred times by now, but it's you.
i love you.