it's you.

{10}

thoughts 4/4/17-
we're talking everyday, now almost every time we see each other.
just think, almost two months ago, i was worried about how much i thought you hated me. because i told you i loved you.
but everything's okay. you're okay. we're just friends. and if that's where you want to be, i'm okay with that.
as long as we are friends.
as long as we get to talk to each other.
i'm okay.
and right now it's late at night and i'm listening to the rain pour down into the earth.
sleep is overrated.
and i have two tests tomorrow about who knows what in i don't even know what class. but i'm not going to study.
because the storm reminds me of you. it reminds me of scenarios i make in my head but quickly wash away with the rain water because i know it's stupid and it will never happen.
you're lips softly on mine.
our fingers interlock.
our eyes stare at each other with so much love and compassion, i feel at home.
but that won't happen, will it?
it's okay, i guess.
i'm fine the way we are, i think.
i love you, most definitely.
will we ever be together in a way that is more than just friends? i don't know.
so as i walk outside in the middle of the night, tears coming out of my eyes, rain covering me like an oversized sweater, just think.
think of me.
think of that night where you were wondering what you did wrong, and then you see that i texted you, telling you it's okay. how there are people that have feelings for you. like me.
i don't think you realize how much i actually love you. but that's okay. everything's going to be alright.
in the end.
and in the end, if we stay as just friends, i hope for you to be happy.
i hope you're able to become a lawyer, and come home to your amazing wife and gorgeous kids.
i hope everyday, you will think, and say, "damn, life's been hard on me. but i've gotten through it. i'm happy now, and i think i always will be."
of course, i obviously want to be the amazing wife, but if you don't it's alright. as long as you're happy.
i love you.
don't forget that.