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Silence reigned his kingdom nowadays. he skipped classes and strolled the town, aimlessly. At dusk, he returned back home and ate dinner with his mom. she never bothered to ask how his day was. Those hopes had been long drenched by cold water.
he was in a suspended state of forced bliss. An aimless time traveller. Often he travelled down the memory lane to see those smiles that he had lost, evaluating their genuineness. But only to sink into more doubtfulness. her smiles looked grim and condescend, each time he reminisced them. Those lanes became more and more unfamiliar as he visited them more.
he walked down various paths trying to find a different kind of light only to get more lost in the darkness. Occasionally he would stop and turn around to see his kingdom in ruins. he fastened his steps then, fuelled by pain. But it felt as if he had been chained to his past. Wherever he went, his kingdom remained just behind him.
he discarded his sceptre along the way somewhere as it had long lost the sweet fragrance of the carnations. Whenever he needed to escape, to release his pain and frustration, he went for the blade. he was addicted to pain.
he fantasised of how he could he end his life just by deepening the cut. he loved how he had control over his own life. his own decisions. It was frightening but at the same time revolutionary.
Death was fascinating. It was like an exotic foreign dish that appealed to the eyes, but made him hesitant to stomach as he was unaware of its effect on the taste buds. Like all the times he gave up trying on new dishes his mother cooked, he gave up on the idea of death. And his death would only relieve his mother of his burden and nothing else.
