May Parker's Guide to Winning the Election

Tip #10: Romance is For Political Gain Only

The bell rings for lunch and I make my way down to the cafeteria, texting Riley and asking him where we should meet for the strategy session. I overhear some Sophomore girls talking outside of the cafeteria in a tight group. One of them looks at me and then they all turn. They begin applauding and I tilt my head, confused by this outpouring of appreciation. "You exposed Trip McCan for who he really is. Thanks for saving us from giving someone like that the title of President."

"Just doing my civic duty." I say, my heart warming because someone can finally see through him.

"I just can't believe he sunk so low as to bribe people to vote for him with dates. It's pathetic." One of the girls mutters, rolling her eyes. "You're more qualified for this than he could ever dream of being."

"Are people actually getting in line for that bribe?" I ask, making my way towards the doors of the cafeteria. I try to look through the window, but find my view blocked by a throng of girls primping themselves while they wait in line for something.

"The smell of desperation is so suffocating in that room that it actually overpowers the smell of the cafeteria food." One of the girls says as she follows her friends down the hallway. I open the door and begin to elbow my way through the line, all of the girls protesting that I can't cut in front of them because they've been waiting forever. Just get out of line; it's simple and you aren't doing yourselves any favors standing here looking desperate.

I finally make my way to the front and find Trip flirting with one of the artists as she signs her name in his appointment book. I take the pen from her and glare harshly. She looks ashamed and allows me to cross out her name as she walks back over to her table on the far side of the cafeteria. "You know, if you wanted a date, May, you could've just asked." I look up and find Trip grinning at me, a 'Vote for Trip' sticker glaring at me from his blazer.

"This is not what the attack ad was supposed to do." I say more to myself than to him.

"Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to thank you for that; my numbers have never been higher."

"Your number of rejections?" I say with mock inquiry, tilting my head.

"Cute,sweetheart" He winks.

"Cute like herpes?" I ask sweetly, setting his pen down in the middle of his book.

"Aw, you're jealous," He pouts, his eyes gleaming with amusement.

"Jealous isn't even in my vocabulary." I roll my eyes, dismissing the claim with a wave of my hand.

"Really for such an intelligent girl I would've thought you'd know that word..." His voice trails off, but his eyes never leave mine.

"I'm not going to stand here and be insulted by you." I say, turning to walk away.

"You know I would've said yes in a heartbeat." He winks, obviously enjoying our little banter.

"You're such a pretentious ass."

"Those are fighting words, Ms. Parker." He says, leaning forward in his chair.

"No," I reply, placing my hands on the table and looking right at him, our faces only a few inches apart. "But what I say in the next debate will be." I straighten up and turn to the line of girls. "Hope you all enjoy used goods. You may proceed with signing away your dignity." I say and usher them all towards the table. Trip chuckles and shakes his head.