Knocking On Your Heart // ongoing

4

 That evening when I got home, I put some Ella Fitzgerald's on full blast as I lay myself down on the comfortable white fluffy mattress. They tends to calm me down and give my good vibes. Mama always told me about music is the escape from this world, you can feel the love, pain, grieve through music, feelings that you can't reach is pass by through strings and chords.

  I was still laying on my bed listening hard to the strings, melodies, harmony of the piece of music for what felt like hours when I hear a knock on my window.

  It's half past ten. And there she is, Violet peeking through the crack between the curtain.

  Violet is like a night owls, she comes and go, never sticking to any places. She changed so much as a person after she left the school. Sometimes I would imagine if we were to meet right now, in my junior year, would we still be best friend? Lately, the answer to that would be a no. We're barely talking anyway on daily basis, her circle is wider, she have a larger group of friends. And so there's barely time for me, I used to make a big fuss about how she'd never call or text anymore. She had turned into one of those girls, that, before in middle school we called a "pathetic-desperate-bitch". Sometimes, I even cringed when she posted a status or pictures on Instagram or snap chat. I know it's not the right thing for a best friend to think or do. I do know that.

  Vi climbed into my bedroom, looking high and clumsy.

  Not this again. "Vi, you're doing drugs again?"

  She laughs a maniac like a laugh before she says: "Nah, just tried vaping, kinda entertaining."

  Oh that I knew, she'd post everything on snap chat, whenever she went partying or drinking or vaping, she would put all that in her snap chat story.

  "What do you want, Vi." I stand up now.

  "I need to ask you a favor." It doesn't came out like asking, more like ordering.

  She continues. "I'll be out late tonight, can you please cover for me and tell my mom I'm at your house sleepover and all."

  I pause. "What are you doing tonight?" It's my rights to know since I'm part of the plan after all.

  "Just out partying, the usual."

  "Why don't you ask other of your friends to cover it for you? I mean you've got plenty if I'm right."

  I continue as I see her staring. "Oh wait, or is it they're all social media friends that your mom doesn't even know about?"

  She got the amused looks on her face. She shouldn't be though. She knew I'm this kind of person, I'm not one to obey everything someone spits in my face with no consideration. She just never expects me to pull this on her after everything we've went through.

  "What's wrong with you?" She asks, searching for any hints of, desperation? Jealously? no.

   "I'm just really tired of being your backup plan okay?" I went back to my bed and swing my right leg over my left.

  "But you're my friends, it's just a small favor where you making such a big deal out of it." She sounds annoyed.

  "Because my dad taught me to treat my friends with respect and cares, which clearly you have are neither of those." 

  Truth is, I'm not even that mad right now. It's just that I don't feel. I don't care.

  She looks hurt now. It's all written on her face. She portrays everything she feels on her face. It's not hard to guess what she's thinking, she just don't shield it very well.