The Fault in Our Stars

Acceptance

Hazel didn't know how long she had been at the cemetery. Time seemed to pass by slowly, leaving Hazel to herself in a whole new world full of grief she was living in. She continued to cry, blaming herself for what had happened. It shouldn't have happened. If only she hadn't gone to The Literal Heart of Jesus that day. She wouldn't have met Augustus. He would still be alive. He wouldn't have gone to Amsterdam. And he wouldn't have died. But Hazel couldn't live with herself thinking of that alternative future. Because Augustus wouldn't love her. And Hazel couldn't bear that thought.

She wasn't planning on going to home soon. Or even ever. All Hazel wanted to do was stay here, with Augustus. If she'd sentenced him to this eternity, she would suffer as well. It wasn't right, for Hazel to be happy. Why should she be happy? Augustus was gone. She shouldn't be happy.

Slowly, Hazel began to remove her oxygen. She didn't want to live a life without Augustus. She couldn't. He was on her mind constantly. She would be always grieving, for the rest of her life. But there was a way they could be together.

A cloud of dust rose up from Augustus's grave. Hazel hunched over and coughed, struggling to breathe. Her heart pounded, and she saw no way she could escape this awful fate. A shadow hovered over her, and Hazel strained her neck to get a closer look.

"Hazel Grace," Augustus greeted. He wore a secretive grin and an unlit cigarette hung on his lips. Hazel's mouth dropped open. Everything around her began to turn a bright white. Wherever she looked, it was a faded pale color.

Her eyes finally reached Augsutus. He looked like just how he remembered him. Same adoring blue eyes, dark hair, and charming personality. The same she fell in love with.

Hazel sprung to her feet and threw her arms around Augustus. He caught her midway through the air.

"Hazel Grace," Augustus whispered in her ear. Hazel hugged him tighter, worried if she let him go, he'd be gone again. "It's a pleasure."

Hazel looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Is this-is this real?" Augustus's smile faded. He held her close, their faces almost touching. Augustus cradled her cheek.

"When you were at the cemetery," Augustus started, refusing to make eye contact, "you took your oxygen tubes out. You couldn't- you couldn't-"

Hazel pulled him close and hid her face in the crook of his neck. She stood up ok her tiptoes and whispered in Augustus's ear.

"I understand," she whispered in a shaky voice. A tear trickled down her cheek. Her mother, her father, Isaac...the list of people she hurt. She didn't want to hurt anyone. But she was a grenade. She couldn't help it. And she couldn't unchange the past.