I can't change who I am...and I don't want to.

Chapter 6 - Why is it my fault?

There’s nothing wrong with just a taste,

Of what you paid for.

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Watching my mother’s body being taken out the house by the paramedics wasn’t the most pleasing sight. But all I could keep thinking about was the last thing we spoke about was in the form of an argument. It was my entire fault, if I hadn’t has gone out; she would’ve gotten hurt. But that’s much better than being shot straight through the head. I can’t imagine what my father is going through. When he had practically died himself as he knelt to her body crying. Never seeing a man cry before, it was something so overwhelming I had to leave and go outside for fresh air. Darren following my every move trying to stop me from fainting. If I’m not even protected in my own house, am I safe anywhere?

It had been a couple of nights since the accident, and I hadn’t seen Cole at all. He was probably working. Darren however turned into an overprotective body guard that shadowed my every move. He sat in the milkshake bar hours on end, making sure I was OK. Yesterday his friends even showed up laughing at him, but when they saw him gazing at me working. They simply nodded and backed away. It’s hard to admit this but,

Darren is growing on me.

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Wiping down the food and drink covered tables, Mai’s voice bounced up and down behind me.

“So, Erika are you coming to ‘Piranha Notes?’ please say you will it will be amazing!”

“Mai, I can’t I have work and I don’t even know what that is?”

“Oh pish posh I have work too. But I’m deciding to live a little!” She shook my shoulders. I’ve been trying to live. Look were that got me, a dead mother and a broken down father.

“I’m sorry. No.”

“Look it’s this amazing rock festival, where all the bands in town come and play. The crowd is so huge it’s so exhilarating.”

“Crowds are not my thing.” Crowds will never be my thing. I just need to accept that. As the door chimed I assumed to see Darren ready to take me home, as he has been doing. But instead Cole stood there lifeless. His face was pale, the bruises that had cascaded down the side of his face were now gone. Dark and dead, his hair looked nothing like the usual ray of sunshine. What had happened?

“Cole? Where have you been?!?” Without hesitating I ran into his arms. His body tightened around mine.

“I’m so sorry Erika. I should’ve called. Darren said that my parent’s killers were not too far away from here.” Killers? Could they have killed my...my...mother?

“Cole don’t  go looking for them alone!”

“What was I supposed to do, let them leave without paying for what they did? Risk never finding them again!” He was shouting at me now. “Erika you know how important his is to me!”

“Cole...I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Well I’ll be more hurt if they go without my wrath!”

Mai finally spoke, pulling me from him. “Erika, he needs to cool down.”

“Excuse me?!? Mai how dare you say that! I am perfectly kind you little slut!”

“Cole! Just leave! What has gotten into you?!” I pushed him into the direction of the door.

“What’s gotten into me? The fact that you are speaking to him!” His hand pointed over to Darren who had just walked into the cafe.