I can't change who I am...and I don't want to.

Chapter 7 - I don't remember that.

They taped over your mouth,

Scribbled out the truth with your lies.

Your little spies.

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“How are you feeling today Erika?” A bubbly blond headed woman sat in front of me on my long and withered sofa. She was known as my mentor of life. I’m not afraid to admit it; my physiatrist.  I looked up at her, her black rimmed glasses perched on the end of her structured nose. It was scary to think I’ve never noticed how witch like she was. Nothing but black clothing, bone like features. Yet her personality was as bright as the sun. She must have been hired due to, being so different from how she looks. Never judge a book by its cover. But then again we all still do.

“Bad.” Not going to lie I’m in a horrific mood. I haven’t had the best life these past couple of days. Darren had practically declared that he just wanted me to adore him as a small sidekick in the shadows. Of course my dad wouldn’t kill my mother. I just can’t bring myself to say that he would point a gun at her breathing body. When I stormed home with Darren chasing after me, my whole body had gone numb, to know that my dad could be a killer...that he was waiting for me to come home...should I have gone with Darren?...No. I don’t care how much Darren wants me. Me and my dad had always had a strong relationship. We were the same in ways.

I got my shyness from him.

Infact I swear all of my personality is from him.

Like me, when he was my age he had social problems. He was a father at seventeen. He never told me the stories of how he was bullied. But to know that he watched his little girl self harm herself wouldn’t be the best time to talk about how he was bullied.

“Would you like to tell me why you’re feeling so down?” Her hands rummaged in her bad pulling out the same notepad, with a yellowish tinge.

“Basically all those times when I told you my life couldn’t get any worse. Well guess what? It just has.” No, I’m not going to tell her about Darren and our fall out.

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A couple of days ago...

“Your dad killed Coles parents, maybe even your mother.” I pushed him off me. A look on my face I knew wouldn’t make him happy.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?!? My dad wouldn’t even hurt a fly!”

“Erika I am not lying!” He tried to grab me but I stepped further away.

“Maybe I should’ve listened to Cole; you just want me in your pants! You’re trying to stop me from going home so that I can sleep with you?! Well news flash Darren that will never happen!”

“Shut the fuck up Erika! You know I don’t want you in that way! You know I love you...”

“Please stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Stop the lies. I have had enough of being lied too.”

“You’ve never friggen left the house?!”  Before I knew it, my hands thumped into his chest. Hoping he would stumble backwards, but instead he just stood there holding my thin wrists. Tears escaped my eyes.

“Let go of me!”

“Not until you let me tell you the truth about your dad! I’m not letting you go home, with him waiting to plant a bloody bullet through your head!”

“He wouldn’t do that!”

“How do you know he wouldn’t?! You never knew that he killed Coles parents all of your life, now do you expect to believe him?”