How do you feel,
Preslee?
My therapist asks.
How do I feel?
I ponder over the question
In my head.
I
Feel
Hungry.
The words
Are on my tongue,
Threatening to slip off.
Look at yourself,
You're fat.
You need
To lose weight.
Ana's vicious voice
Immediately appears,
With a sense of
comforting familiarness.
Hunger is accomplishment,
Preslee.
Hungry to bed,
Hungry to rise,
And soon,
You'll be a smaller size.
Eat less,
Weigh less.
Ana forbids me,
I cannot say
I'm
Hungry.
As if it's a
Crime.
Being fat
Is a
Dirty,
Dirty,
Crime.
Fine, then
I feel empty.
Empty is pure,
Starving is the cure.
If you're empty,
You're not full.
And if you're full,
You're fat.
If you're fat,
You're
Ugly,
Worthless,
Disappointing.
If you're fat,
You're nothing.
I finally decide
To tell the woman
I feel
Fine.
Fine,
As in
Not fine.
But I can't say how I really feel.
Because Ana guards my mind.
She's everywhere.
YOU ARE READING
Ana in Wonderland
PoetryPreslee Taylor - it girl of Northwood High. Everyone adores her and wants to be her, except her. She hates herself, and starves herself, and cuts herself. She is at a constant battle with anorexia, bulimia, and depression. Will she win the fight for...
