Just Like A Wind [Kaisoo]

Chapter 32

Kyungsoo's POV

I woke up, only to find an empty space beside me. Wait, where is Jongin? I remembered, we watched movie and then-- oh, I fell asleep. Ugh, such a nice idea to ruin a moment Kyungsoo. I stood up and went outside.

"Guys, have you seen Kai?" I asked them when I got the living room. They all looked at each other.

"Manager called him." Baekhyun said. I just nodded and went beside him.

"Oh hey, isn't that Jongin?" Lay said and pointed at the tv. Oh yeah, it's him, but why is there a girl beside him? Is that--

"He's with Krystal?!" Minseok yelled. I knew it. But, why are they together? Is there something I don't know? We quietly watched their interview. What is this all about?

"So, are you two already official?" What the--

"Yes we are." They both said, smiling to each other. Oh, now that answers my question. They all looked at me.

"Kyungsoo, are you okay?" Suho asked me. Of course. Of course I'm okay. Who wouldn't be okay after seeing his boyfriend saying that he's in a relationship with another person?

"I'm fine. I'll just, I think I need to take a bath. I'll be back at dinner. Wait for me, I'll cook." Yeah, because this day is such an special day. We need to celebrate. For Jongin and Krystal's relationship. [A/N: That sarcasm tho.]

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Kyungsoo went to his room and that's when he didn't held his tears back anymore. He let himself cry and cry until there's no tears falling down from his eyes. He's hurt. Damn hurting. He sat on his bed and looked at nowhere.

Why would Jongin even do this to me?

Why did he lied?

Is he cheating on me while we're together?

No I know he won't do that,

but he just did.

He sighed and went to the mirror to look at himself. Am I not enough? A bitter smile painted on his face while tears were still falling from his eyes. He took a bath and fixed his self. Minutes later, he heard a knock, he immediately opened it only to see Jongin.

"Hyung.." he said but Kyungsoo just stepped back and raised his hands.

"No, don't." His vision were already blurry because of those tears forming in his eyes. He looked down and walked passed him.

"Hyung please, listen to me." He said and held Kyungsoo's hand, preventing him to leave.

"You don't have to explain. You don't have something to explain." His said, voice cracking. He felt Jongin's grip loosen and that's the time he left. He watched the elder leave, cheeks being wet by his tears. I'm sorry hyung. But I'm doing this for your own sake. Please forgive me. He looked down and went inside their room.

Kyungsoo walked and walked until he reached the rooftop. The best place to unwind, he thinks. He stood near the edge and roamed his eyes. He can't see anything, everything seems so dull and also, he can't feel anything. He felt numb.
All he can do now is cry. He felt weak that in any moment, his heart can give up. He feels tired even if he hasn't done anything. And most of all, he's hurting.

It's a foreign feeling, he haven't been hurt like this since then. He didn't know how to control it. He doesn't know how to handle it. Alone. He's scared. Scared of letting the others how he feel. Letting them know that he's hurt, that he can't handle it, that he's suffering. He knows that it maybe a little too exaggerated but that is how he feel. No one's in the right place to judge a broken person. All people can be hurt it different ways, but that doesn't mean all of them deserves it.

In Kyungsoo's state, he can demand and say that he don't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to be hurt when all he did was to love. He loved Jongin with all his heart and didn't expected to have this kind of treatment in exchange. It's not right. Everything seems to fall down. He stared at the city view blankly. Maybe later he'll wake up with Jongin laying beside him. Maybe this is just a dream,

but he knows it's not.