listen to your heart

zwei

"daddy!"

pushing past the tall strangers, my tulle dress bouncing, i run into his open arms. he twirls me into the sky.

"hey, princess."

he sets me down, while i look up to him. mommy is standing next to him, she looks sad.

"why does mommy look sad, daddy?"

daddy's face falls, he crouches down to meet eye to eye.

"daddy doesn't feel that good, sweetheart. that's why."

he caresses my cheek gently, while mommy smiles weakly. he starts to cough, his hand to his chest, mommy looks scared. i get scared.

"daddy, are you okay? daddy!"

daddy falls to the ground in front of me, i drop to my knees. no! i see him coughing up red stuff, my hands are covered in the red.

"harold!"

mommy drops next to me, holding his face, i hear people talking loudly. an unknown feeling of fear rises.

"don't die, please don't leave me, daddy."

i cry into his chest, his hand is on my back weakly. there are sirens being blared while i laid in daddy's arms. he stops coughing momentarily, i look back to him.

"i love you both very much. never forget that, honey."

his eyes begin to close. no, no, no. i feel his hand falling from my back, mommy is crying next to me. please don't leave me, don't leave daddy. don't leave.

"DON'T LEAVE!"

i wake up screaming, my body sweaty, and my sheets disheveled. again? i sigh in grief, laying back down into my pillow. shoving my sheets off my burning skin, i try to think happy thoughts while i drift away into my slumber.

                                       >>

turning over, i snooze my alarm clock, rolling out of bed. the silence that i could only hear, my alarm vibrating and hitting me so i could wake up instead. the arms of the alarm went back in its place, while i go to my bathroom to wash up. i wonder what he'll think of me, was i too forward with the notebook? or embarrassing, i can't decide.

but oh his smile.. how lovely it is, i remember it clear as day when he saw my nervous actions. my stomach growled in want, closing off my faucet, i dry my face off. i hope mom's up.

"mom!"

the light on the wall downstairs flickered signaling she was home, i smiled, walking down the stairs. i get hit with the smell of freshly cooked bacon and chocolate croissants.

"what are you making this time?"

"bacon, sausage, chocolate croissants your favorite, and eggs!"

she seemed joyful, she worked at home as a real estate agent. so it was easy for her to leave whenever, my father left us a fortune before he passed. he owned a large business, sold electric cars, his partnership was with tesla. those cars were the thing then, and even now they still are. he left the company to my best friend who worked for him, ryan.

"ryan texted me yesterday saying he's coming over today to hang out, around.. about now."

she turns her stove off and says her words in sign language, i smile wide. i can't wait to tell him the news! my mom stops what she's doing, and leaves to the door. i look down the hall to see the kid i grew up with, looking more business like than ever.

"ryan!"

he greets my mother before flashing me a big smile, i jog to him, he opens his arms wide. holding him close, i realize how much i've missed him. i pull away.

"how was your trip?"

i read his lips.

"it was good, we got another huge deal with one of tesla's clients."

i smiled, congratulating him. he took off his designer shoes, while my mom went back to the kitchen.

"come, we're about to eat breakfast."

he has a look of hope.

"really? because i'm starving."

he rubs his stomach as i roll my eyes laughing. i walk back to the kitchen seeing my mom placing out plates for us on the marble counter top. hopping back on my stool, i start eating the dishes she made. i look to my side seeing ryan in only his dress shirt and pants, his tie gone. his shirt unbuttoned a few buttons, he looks better, the company looks good on him.

it's been almost two weeks since i've last seen him, we went to a gala then. showed me around, auctioned off women for a dance, same old. my mother seems to be talking to him, but all i could focus on was the food. in the hint of my eye, i think i see ryan staring at me.

"oh wait!"

ryan has his undivided attention to me, my mom i can tell has leaned in, not looking at me. but washing dishes.

"i met this guy yesterday, i have a date with him later tonight! isn't that great?"

i squeal, his look falters, what? my mom's shoulders slump, he weakly smiles.

"that's great, laura. whose the lucky guy?"

i can see him clear his throat, what's up with ryan..

"his name's shawn, he was jogging around, crazy. i know."

he laughs.

"in this weather? the guy's got balls, i'll tell you that."

there's a silence, oh the irony, my mother breaks the silence by mouthing to me.

"do you need to go to work soon?"

ryan shakes his head almost immediately, staring outside of one of my doors' window. seeing my mothers garden, i get an idea.

"wanna water the garden?"

ryan and i used to do it all the time when we were younger. ryan's face lights up, my mother's as well, smiling. i grab his hand, pulling him off the stool beside me, and quickly leaving the house. gazing at the flowers, i inhale the fresh scent, so relaxing. ryan holds a watering can in front of me, while he holds his own.

i take it happily, as we water them side by side. it wasn't odd for this to be so quiet, after all, i couldn't hear anything. ryan stops watering momentarily, i look at him, he mouths something to me. i widen my eyes, he must mean something else? he brings his hands up, telling me it in sign language.

"i-m i-n l-o-v-e w-i-t-h y-o-u, l-a-u-r-a."